An Indescribable Love

Lately I've been thinking about how much I love music. Besides the Gospel, it is the second source of my happiness. No other feeling can top the feelings I get from music. I mean it when I say if music were a guy, I would marry it. I seriously don't even know who to describe what I feel about all the bands and artists that through their vocal chords have brought me the greatest happiness imaginable.

I love the Gospel and I love God. I'm so thankful for every miracle and sign of love and support He brings into my family's life as well as my own. I am so ungrateful sometimes with complaining about being single and little annoyances that I forget to thank Him for what I have. Fir my family, my health, the people that care about me, and my music. When no one was there music and the Lord have been there for me. That's why I look to music that inspires and that has meaning. I love music that makes me the happiest and that brings me the greatest joy. Music that inspires me to be a better me and that gives me courage.

Now to address something that I've had bottled up for sometime that I feel is so important that I address and let out before I forget all about it.

Same Love.

Gay marriage and the issue of gay rights is a hot topic if the world and a topic that many do not want to talk about. Before this past semester, this topic made me so uneasy to talk about because I didn't know what to tell others when they asked me about my opinion. In church we are taught that the family is the greatest gift that we can be give and that only through marriage between a man and a woman can true and complete happiness be achieved and I agree with that 100%. I support gay rights and I love gay individuals. They are God's children and I don't see them in a bad light. It's just their actions that I don't support, especially gay marriage. Marriage is so sacred and for that reason I don't support gay marriage. In one if my classes last semester we learned from a talk an authority gave that these feelings of same sex attraction are a trail hat many people came to Earth to go through as part of their journey of the mortal experience. The part of the song that says "Ï can't change even if I tried, even if I wanted to" makes me want to cry and it touches me so much. Yes you can change if you have the Lord by your side. Through the Lord anything is possible, anything. I know with all every part of me that the Lord loves us so much and that He has our well-being in mind when he faces us with hardships in our lives. He loves you so much, even when you refuse His love. Even if you turn your back on Him....He will be there to welcome you when you're ready to have Him in your life again.

It's never too late. Never ever let yourself believe that you're not worth it. The Lord loves you and only wants His children to follow the plan that will get them to live with Him again. God;s laws are the truth and His truth is unchangeable and eternal.

Peace.

My babies!

Haha, not literally.

The Backstreet Boys came out with a new album last week for their 20th anniversary as a band and ahhhh, I love them! Therefore I refer to them as my babies because they are my first loves in terns of music. They were the first music that I listened to when I came here to the US.

Awwwe, they're amazing-- they've grown up sooo much since the first time they came together as a group. Now they're all married (except for Nick, he's engaged) and have have their own little family of their own and AWWW it's just so cute to realize this and think about how my other babies (one direction) are growing up too and soon they too will be all married and have kids of their own.

Anyway, let;s get this show on the road. It has been a while since my last post hasn't it? Well, school and all the stress that comes with it is over for the next 6 weeks or so then fall semester in September, ew.  With this free time, I'm not doing anything. I'm going to sit back and enjoy being the lazy person that has been suppressed for an entire semester. The semester was busy. 7 classes and 17 credits! But I got straight As so it all paid off in the end. If I keep it up I can get close to a 4.0 overall GPA. I hope so, it would help so much for financial aid.

Let's address something that has been on my mind for what seems like ever and I didn't get the chance to address here.
So, a while back I really started to think a lot about Cainan. He was and is constantly on my mind. And it didn't help either that he never wrote me back since I sent him a letter in April.
So I'm thinking about him and our relationship and all that fun stuff-- then it really hit me how a horrible girlfriend I was to him. He was totally right in breaking up with me and that makes e wish that we had given each other a chance first to become friends rather than together. How I wish that I could redo that part of my life, I really do. Now that I've analyzed it-- I regret it cause I didn't appreciate what positives he did in my life and focused more on just having someone to make out with-- like I use him or something and he didn't deserve it. Like I said, I wish I could do it over. Some part of me though tells me that I will be able to do it over again, but who knows. He said that he broke up with me because he was going on a mission. He beer really had no other reason to besides what I just discussed. But it bothers me though because he could have come to me and talked about it. Uhhhh, I don't know. I'm just going to leave it at that and maybe when he gets back we'll see where we both are.
It seems that whenever I think I'm ready for giving dating a try-- I'm reminded that I'm not by the things that I learn each semester. and realizing all the things that I've done wrong n the past and need to work on before it happens. I guess there's still a ton I need to learn because as of now, I'm as single as a pringle and to be honest it bothers me. I know that it shouldn't and half of the time it doesn't natter to me until it just randomly hits me how great it would be to have someone live you and you love them back in that sense. And then there's my friends who are heading towards the road if where I want to be and where as a younger me, hoped I would be at by this age. I guess it's not my time yet and I just have to deal with it and stop focusing so much on it because  have my whole life ahead. Plus, just because everyone is there at that point in their lives doesn't mean I'm required to or that there's something wrong with me because I'm not.

OK, the end. No more talking about this topic for the time being.

Anywaaaaay, what should I talk about then? How about the fact that I don't want to do fall semester? Like, it starts next month and I just got here-- it's not fair. I love being home and being lazy all day. I need to recover from spring semester because it was so busy and hard that my brain needs all the rest it could get. AH. Plus, sometimes I can't deal with Rexburg. It can be so annoying sometimes. There are hypocrites everywhere and it gets hard telling who's real and who's not and it becomes hard trusting others. I hope this makes sense. So what else have I been up to? Reading mostly. Currently I'm reading this book about hese two kids with cancer that are starting to fall in love with each other...it's adorable. Makes me think about how there is love for everyone no matter the circumstance.

Excuse me, I'm getting emotional right now.
Adrian's favorite sing is Ride by Lana del Ray and it's so beautiful and amazing that it makes me miss him so much.