3 weeks already?

So apparently I've been here for 3 weeks already. CAARRRRRRAZZY! Every time I walk around campus or on my way to class, I always am astonished by the fact that I'M a college student walking around a college campus. ME, little ol' me. It is a wonderful feeling.

Speaking of wonderful feelings, I LOVE the spirit here, "the spirit of Ricks" is definitely true. I feel it when I pray before class, when I sing hymns, when I walk around campus, and most importantly when I'm with my roommates. They are amazing women. Really. They're pretty crazy, but that's what I love about them. (Hi Liz, I see you!)  Annka is like my mom away from home. She's sassy, she's very smart, she makes sure I'm doing my homework...just like my mommy at home. Breanna is like my sister. She makes the cutest faces and comments, even if half of them are about Harry Potter. Now to get to the good stuff. My roommate Liz. Where do I begin? She is like WHOA. She's so nice and friendly. She has this amazing sense of humor that she fails to recognize. Basically she's like my brother. Always there for a good laugh. We make fun of each other, we give each other mean looks; seriously she is SO much like my brother. Then there's our unofficial roommate Stephanie. She is soooooo funny. And I love her music tastes. She is the reason I am addicted to Gavin DeGraw. Plus she makes good tacos:) Spending time with them makes me feel so tingly inside, like I'm at home, like here RIGHT NOW is where I'm supposed to be. 

On Saturday we all went to the Relief Society Conference. It was amazing. The first two talks were good, BUT Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk was MINDBLOWING. He basically talked about what's in my patriarchal blessing; that Heveanly Father loves me and that I should never forget that. That I should cherish all the things in life, both the good and the bad. That the Lord has never forgotten me and I should never feel like he has. His words brought the spirit so strongly that my eyes were overflowing with tears. I was a very powerful experience for me. I knew at that moment that the Lord has send these men to preach his word. Through the them; missionaries, bishops, stake presidents, apostles, prophets-- we can know the things the Lord wants us to know. I really needed that message at the time. I'm so glad I went, it was a great reassurance to me that He lives and that this Gospel is the true one on earth in these last days. 

Guess where I'm going Friday? GENERAL CONFERENCE BABY! So excited! Like, that's all I think about lately. I can't wait to feel the prophet's presence, to feel the spirit when I hear all the wonderful talks. And best of all, I'm going to be hearing these wonderful talks with people I really care about. 

I feel so blessed to be attending this university. I'm glad I had the courage to come here and I hope that my courage is an example to my dad that I love the Gospel and that I'm willing to sacrifice anything for the opportunity to build up my testimony and improve myself spiritually. 

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If you're reading this Adrian, I want to say that I love you. SO MUCH. I'm so proud of you. You have so much courage and determination to be obedient to God's commandments. We both have been through a lot, but always remember that we should cherish ALL the things in life. Trials we face only strengthen us. Remember to be an example to your friends, to Stephanie, to mommy, and most importantly to our dad. I know that he has done SO MANY things that don't deserve to be forgiven, but remember that he is our dad. Like mommy says, no matter what he does, we should always respect him. I know that its going to be hard forgiving him, but just remember that the Lord forgives us for our sins. No matter what they are. Why shouldn't we forgive others if He forgives us for things we do? Remember that it isn't in our place to judge others. 

I learned to forgive dad Adrian. He is just a tortured soul who needs to find the light. We need to be examples to him and show him that we aren't like everyone else, that we DO care and that we are capable of forgiveness. Show him that you still care, even though I know you don't. Just try to not hold anymore resentment against him. Forgive him.

I miss all you guys so much and I think about you everyday. I miss our late night talks, I miss our made up stories, I miss your hugs. I miss you most of all Adrian. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait till you go on a mission and share with the world your testimony.

Confessions of a college student

I guess I survived my first week in college without dying. It has been pretty busy. I have like no social life. Unless you count talking with people in class, my roommates, and going to the gym with Alida. That's pretty much it. Why? Homework has pretty much taken over my life. I finish one assignment, but nooooooo there's more to do! I have no idea how some people do it. There's a party tomorrow night, I guess I'll go.
At first I wasn't feeling that homesick when the week started. I didn't even cry (that much) when my mom left me here in Mormonland. Now that I'm doing all this homework, I think about those times that I would pass the time with my brother talking and not really doing any homework. He'd ask me to help him with something, I'd respond with a reaction of cluelessness about what he was talking about then we'd fight and by the end of the day we'd be best friends again. I miss him oh so much. I miss our late night conversations and made up stories about our pets. I miss his sense of humor most of all. And his voice. I miss everything about him. Basically I miss home.

Why am I getting so emotional now? I can actually feel the tears forming. I was fine before, why the homesickness all of a sudden? ehhhhhh.

I thought about it yesterday. I'll be back home in December, but I'll want to be here. The homesickness will never end will it? Most of my friends here are fall/winter track and I really can't bear the idea of not being here with them winter semester. I just hope everything falls into place and I stop feeling so depressed. Not depressed, but mixed up emotions I guess you can call it. Prayer is basically the only thing that can lift my spirits. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to speak to the Lord. Where ever I go, he follows me, always willing to hear me out, not matter how silly or pointless what I tell him maybe. <3

I should get back to this whole homework thing.

BYU-I is amazing though! (minus all the depressing stuff I mentioned above.)