People really piss me off sometimes. Like a lot. I do something and it bugs them. Not anyone in general, but overall, like everyone...ya know?
Like I care.
And just thinking about how it bugs them makes me laugh out loud to myself in the middle of the night.
Listen, do whatever the heck you want. Of course, in a reasonable manner. Who cares what anyone thinks really. The only opinions that matter should be your parents', yourself, and the Lord.
It's not like I'm spending my time dealing drugs, geez.
Listen to cheesy music, laugh like a loon in public, obsess over things, fangirl a bit.
I have a love affair with Niall James Horan of One Direction everyone, just so you know. I seriously haven't been this attracted to anyone in my life before, it's kinda unreal. Acting like a total 12 year old fangirl like 98% of teenage girls out there that claim the same thing, but you know what? I honestly really don't care. I'm 20 and in college and whatever, but I will never act my age. I will always obsess over hot guys and sing along to cheesy pop songs. I will obsess over bands and laugh at stupid things. I will watch little kid shows and recite every line. I will laugh really loud in public over a stupid joke or comment. I will never be what society tells me to be. I've learned that about myself and very slowly this new year I am trying really hard to do my own thing and to completely ignore what others think of me and the actions that I decide to take. Life is short and I don't want to waste it trying to please others and conforming to what is pleasing in their eyes.
It's a lie if you say that this song isn't extremely catchy.
I have to watch this at least once a day to go on with my life in a calm manner.
True Life.
See, I see these guys and they're inspiring. I'm not totally blown away by their charming good looks, but their way of being as well. They act like their own silly selves and don't care what anyone says. They don't care what others think about them. They don't let others tell them how to do their own thing. And I really admire that, I really do. I've met so many people throughout my life that have said that they do what they want and no one tells them what to do and who to be, but to be honest here, that's total BS. You don't. You let things of the world and what people say shape your way of thinking. I don't know if I'm making sense here, but bear with me. I really believe that people these days don't let themselves enjoy the little things in life to its fullest because they're concerned with the way that others will view them if they knew. Like I said above, I'm all about acting like I don't give a care in the world. I've lived to long trying to act like everyone expects me too. I honestly don't care what people say or think about me anymore, I'm through with that. And hopefully this isn't just words I say now, but actions as well.
Kay bye, I'm gonna fangirl on tumblr now.
Before I go, please.
Wait, no, I'm not done yet.
Can I just say that AT THIS VERY MOMENT I am seriously so like, extremely happy and cheery and like WOW. And I can't seem to understand why exactly. But whatever, I'll take it.
In other news, I finally finished watching all of How I Met Your Mother. SO GOOD. If you haven't had a chance to watch it I highly recommend it.
The series reminded so much of me, especially with the main character, Ted. He's so caught up in trying to end up with the perfect person and getting married. He expected that he would realize this dream in his early young adulthood, but he didn't. This show in a way made me further realize that this time in my life I shouldn't even obsess about finding the "one". I have all the time in the world so why rush it right? I seriously don't care anymore about the whole deal; dating, guys, relationships, etc because I seriously don't have the patience to keep on caring since it has never worked out for me anyway. A guy can't make my whole life worth living like I've honestly thought before. Last year I felt like having an "other" was the ultimate pill to happiness, but it's not! I make my own happiness and a guy is not the only thing that I need to feel whole. Seriously, I just want to go back in time, specifically a couple months ago when I was pretty much head over heels crazy about this guy and slap myself because it was really stupid to. It really wasn't worth it in the end aside from the huge lesson I learned from it. Kinda funny, how I learn all these lessons that are life-changing from situations that bring tears, craziness, and time consumption. Life is funny sometimes, huh? But that's the way it works and we just gotta deal.
Here's to more lessons to learn from! Wooo! I am so excited for this new year it's not even funny guys, like, I can feel that amazing things are in store for me and I don't want a guy coming into the picture at all this year, I really don't. Headaches, that's all they bring, like really. Please allow me to me crazy and stupid and careless this year without some guy clouding my mind. Let me enjoy this new life that has been given to me, this fresh start. I am seriously the happiest I have ever been right now and this feeling is truly amazing and I have these lads to thank for that because as corny as this sounds, they kinda slapped me in the face and brought me to open my eyes and see that life is short and that we should live life as best as possible with the happiest and brightest attitude.
Have you ever had those moments where you can't fall asleep because there is someone on your mind? A person that randomly just chooses to pop into your mind that hasn't visited in like forever into your subconscious. Usually when someone pops in randomly like that it usually means that they're thinking of you too OR that you yourself need to see and ask what they're up do, how they're doing. I don't know. At this point, I'm just done with all that happened last year and I'm just over it all. But I just can't shake this feeling that something is up. Hmm, we'll see.
So I've been thinking, mostly about what I'm going to do with my future. When will I finally really and permanently move away from home and truly be on my own? Of course, first things first-- I need to get a couple things done first before that. For some reason I want to move to the city as my first "official" place. Funny, I've never really seen myself living in the city, EVER, simply because it smells, it's too loud, the people are too mean and too quick paced, but I don't know-- somehow that quick paced lifestyle is appealing. Or I could just stay here, where I am, but rent out a nice apartment on my own. Who knows, right? In the mean time I'm just focused on school and what I'm going to do with my life and where it's headed. Right now I'm in total "detox" mode-- in a way "cleaning" myself from everything that made me a sad sappy mess. Away with that! I'm totally in dominating mode. I feel that this new year will have some surprising things in store for me. Of course life isn't life without a few knocks to the ground and in the meantime I will start building an indestructible shield within myself to never ever let myself be hurt again, ever.
My dad leaving totally changed my perspective on life; that you can only really depend on yourself in the end and of course the Lord. There comes a time where you just gotta get a grip, wipe away the self pity you have, wipe away those tears, and kick those spells away. When you're sad and down, Satan just laughs. He laughs that you're that way. That's something I regret, how could I have let myself allow that? But like I said before, that's over for good. I will no longer give him a reason to be happy about my misery.
SO, guess where I'm finally going this year? To Ecuador! Really excited, really. All my family is down there. Over here it's kinda barren relative wise, but over there...so many cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Family really is great. So great. Be grateful for what you have dear reader, appreciate your family and all their little moments of quirkiness
You know who's great and amazing? Rob Thomas.
He really is such an amazing artist, like oh my goodness.
