Cringe worthy

Endorphins make you happy and being happy is something that can be hard to do sometimes. Singing whatever favorite song makes my mood so much better so I sing all the time. It helps. I don't know if I really have a good voice as I've been told, but regardless the music will live on!

So I was thinking, why not write about stupid stuff I've done throughout the years? That would give me such a laugh as well as those that read these ramblings of mines. I think back to these experiences and sometimes cringe with embarrassment for my past self. Anyway, let's get this ball rolling shall we?

Now these are in no particular order kay?

1. Anonymous letters- Starting in 4th grade (or was it 3rd?) I had a huge crush on this guy named Anton. He was a new student who had just come from Russia and he was in my ESL class. We became friends and it was great. We'd joke around all the time, it was great. Then one day I overheard him telling this girl that he had a crush on this girl named Jessica. There were two Jessicas in the class, but I assumed it was me. Then because of this piece of information I started to feeling all kinds of nervous around him. Then we just started to stop talking to each other and it just got weird. I couldn't take it anymore so I wrote him a secret letter where I wrote how much I liked him and how great I thought he was. Eventually I think I revealed myself (seriously cringing so hard right now omg) to him and then we exchanged numbers. I remember awkwardly calling him and we talked. Then he moved away and I never heard from him again until a few years later when I added him on facebook. This letter thing happened again in 7th or 8th grade when I liked this guy named Tim and wrote him a poem. Then I had my brother put it in his mailbox. This is so embarrassing thinking about and recalling. I was going to do the same for this guy I later on who I liked. His name was Brian and he was so cute haha, but I decided nah better not. Good decision past self, good job.

2. Stupid sayings- A lot of dumb things I've said always come back to haunt me, but the one that has stood out to me has been making me cringe every time for the past 4 years. Freshmen year we went to get connected and I met my friend Steph's friend Dan. I will never forget the fact that he stared at my boobs that day. ANYWAY, we were talking then I said something really stupid and embarrassing I'm crying with laughter right now as I type this. He was telling me how he had been on a mission in so and so place. Then I said the following. "You're the first RM I've ever talked to!" EVERY TIME I CRINGE BECAUSE IT'S SUCH A DUMB THING TO SAY OMG WHY. Anyway, that happened. Don't worry though, there are a ton of other dumb things I've said to guys that are cringe worthy.

3. Online boyfriends- This was when I was like 12. I think I had like 2, but the one that stands out was this guy named Tyler from Kansas. I remember we talked about crop circles one day. He was so cute, but then we just stopped talking one day. This online thing was fun for me at the time getting in chat rooms and chatting with random people. I did this all the time until one day this guy called my house and it freaked me out since I had never given my number to anyone on those sites. Speaking of talking to guys online...

4. The douchebag- So I've been trying out this online dating site for about a month now. Only a month. Once it's over I'm done. Anyway, I started talking to this guy and he was pretty cool and cute and whatnot. We exchanged numbers and we planned to meet for pizza. Originally he wanted me to go over to his place and I was like lol no. The day of the so called date came and this jerk got me all excited and ready for nothing and he stood me up. So I told him dude, if you didn't want to do this you should have just told me in the first place. The stupid part of this? Trusting people too quickly. Remember kids, trust is earned, not easily handed out. I guess my not wanting to go to his place to "hang out" was a message to him that I wasn't going to be an easy hookup which I'm guessing is what he had in mind. Anyway, I'm talking to this other dude recently from that site, but ya know no expectations had by me for this one. I'm just doomed to suck in the guy department. Like I said, moral of the story don't be so trusting of people because you'll end up feeling stupid at the end.

5. Tinder- Haha, this came close to being a super stupid thing I've done, but I guess I was saved. I've written about this so I'll spare you the story. Anyway, moral of the story is don't be thirsty for attention and rely on a hook up site for that attention.

6. Yik yak meet up- So stupid thing is that I met up and hung out with a guy from this app. It wasn't really that bad because he was a decent guy, but just the fact that I met someone from this app is stupid. I think the poor guy was expecting a ncmo, but instead he got an evening of random ramblings by me.

Anyway, my fingers are tired and I wanna go watch some netflix. Adios.