It's been a while...

It has been a while since I posted something here. Not a long while, but a while. So what's been going on? Well, I've spend the last 6 days catching up on harry potter related things. I've re watched all the movies and everything for the release of the final chapter of this Friday. Sadly, I am not up to attend the midnight showing cause by midnight, I am a sleeping log. Besides, it's going to be soooo hectic with HP fans and crazed fans being there, so I am going on Saturday instead.

I've been feeling icky lately, I don't know why really. Actually, I kinda do.
I feel like this summer is boring for me. I feel like I am wasting it. This is my daily schedule.
-wake up
-workout
-shower
-eat breakfast
-watch tv
-listen to music
-go to bed
-rinse and repeat
It's not like this everyday, sometimes I'll go to the pool, I'll read, I'll facebook stalk...but it's getting overbearingly dull. All of this. ugh.

Yet again I will state how much I can't wait for college.

But then again, that excitement is wearing out. I am actually starting to fear that day, the day when I leave my family for 3 1/2 months. It's a big step I am taking and sometimes I am not so sure I can do it.  This is going by so fast, this stage in my life. It seems like just yesterday I was entering high school as a freshmen, worrying about high school bullies and if they really did exist in my school. I worried about how I would be able to deal with homework, with teachers. I dreamed about prom, about graduation. I dreamed about that one special guy that I would devote myself to. I didn't expect my first heartbreak. So many of these events have come and gone; all of them and now, it just hit me as I am sitting down typing this. Life is way too short. It goes by way too fast. 

Hopefully I will be able to adapt to this change, but there are so many things I am worried about. Will my roommates tolerate me? Will I be accepted by my peers the way I really am? Will I be the same person I was in high school? I ask for strength to face my fears. To have the strength to tell my peers who I really am. 

All these years I have felt out of place and living a double life. No one outside of my family and my closest friends really know who I am. 

Very few know what it's like to be like me.

Excuse my not so cheerful post.
But then again, even the happiest of people are down sometimes.