It's ok

This week has been crazy. Full of the usual workloads of homework, drama, and lots and lots of thinking.

To put it out there, after loads and loads of beating myself about it, and stressing, and most importantly praying-- I broke it off with Cainan.

NOW, don't think I'm super depressed about it or anything. In the end, we decided to stay friends and we're cool about it it and I'm happy about that. I need more guy friends in my life.

It's kinda funny/weird that my best friends (who are guys) are my exes.
But whatever, friends are friends right?
And friends are cool.

I'm a freshmen, I want to enjoy dating around and living the single life.
I need to "find" myself and figure out what I want in a guy.

I'm an emotional wreck, I need to figure out what to do with myself so I stop acting on impulse and then realizing that it was the wrong thing to do, to move so fast.

I have hope and faith that I will figure this out. That I will know what I want to do with my life and who I want to be in it with me.

My patriarchal blessing promises me what I want.
A family. And that's what I'm trying to figure out. How am I going to achieve this goal and what steps to I need to take?