Coming to terms

It seems that every semester brings a life lesson. This semester it was that-- that people come into your life and some just don't stick around even though you so desperately want them to. Everything works under the Lord's doing and I have come to accept that. Although people are coming and going in my life right now I just can't let that stop me from being happy with my life. I can't torment myself over thinking that I did something wrong and that it's all my fault that some things just don't work out with others.

School has just been a blur. Getting my assignments done and whatnot-- and I don't even see and realize that I go home soon. I've been so preoccupied with all the drama that this semester has brought that everyday just feels like a total blur-- it goes by so fast too. But that's what I like because at this point I just want to go home. I'm just so fed up with everyone here, especially those that have made me feel like the bad guy and like I don't deserve the truth. It's just so exhausting. No matter how hard I try not to think about it, it just all comes flooding back.
At this point I'm so focused on school and my classes and my overall love of running that slowly these factors are helping me not think about those that I want so much, but can't have. Because apparently, life is just not cooperating with me and what I want. The Lord though, He knows. So by these experiences that have occurred this semester so far, they're just ways of His will getting me closer to where He wants me to be. The Lord knows me better than I know myself so He knows what's good for me and what isn't. And that also applies to people. If He knows that I'm just not supposed to have them in my life, He will make it hard for them to be and me on the other hand will try to fight it, but He always wins. "No Jess, I know what's good for you and ____ is simply just not supposed to be in your life."And I've noticed that He's put me in situations to make me see why they're not supposed to be. And I've finally come to accept it and move on. No longer resisting with truth that I've known to be right all along in my heart.

There is still SO much that I want to share, but I guess that's just gotta have to wait.
I am seriously sore and in need of a good back rub. Hopefully sleeping makes it better. Hopefully.