I've been feelings so much better and happier lately. I love my classes this semester; especially my intro to family history class. It looks like loads of fun and I really feel like my life will change somewhat from all the things I learn there. So many plans already for that class too. I'm already planning out what I'm doing my projects on and it really excites me. In my blessing it talks about my involvement with family history and the special relationship I will build with those I do work for. I think this is it; with me taking this class.
But seriously, I love my classes.
Tonight I made my mom's potato apple salad and combined it with my spicy creole pasta; AND HOLY CRAP I CAN COOK YUMMY THINGS. I was so unbelievably proud of myself I gave myself a pat on the back. I can't wait to experiment with more dishes and share my creations with others. Like, I gave Liz some spicy creole pasta for dinner since she got home late from one of her classes and she really liked it. If I can keep creating yummy food, I think cooking is going to turn into one of my favorite things to do. It just makes my day seeing someone else smile after tasting my food. It makes me feel so useful and happy.
The first time I made something and was comfortable enough to share it was when I was back home. I made a quick chicken broth with veggies and oregano and a bit of black pepper. My mom enjoyed it and surprisingly so did Adrian. My mom was like, "the reason this tastes so good is because you put so much love in making it." And that's true. Even if I make a dish for myself, I give it my all; my "love" per say.
At this point, I am going to focus so much on bringing myself to the point where I was before, where I was so happy with life. I feel like I will finally get there this semester. I will dive into my classes which are full of my favorite topics; children, marriage, family, fitness, and preparing to raise a family. Doing things I love will definitely get me there. That's what I love about school. You will truly enjoy it when you are learning about things that you really love.
At this point in the whole guy department, I'm not really going to give it much thought. I will not be chasing after anyone this semester. If by any chance I do happen to interest someone, then we'll see. I totally realize now how much of my time I've spent preoccupied with thoughts about dating, relationships, and all that jazz. I love romance, don't get me wrong, but for once I just want my next relationship whenever in the near future that may be, to happen on it's own without me having to put so much effort in getting a guy to be interested. If you guys are destined to be together, it will happen without you having to throw yourself out there. Because that's the way I am and of course anyone can disagree and say "but the girl shouldn't let the guy do all the work". Like I've mentioned somewhere before, I'm a traditional person when it comes to romance; my guy will have to work for it. Whoever that guy may be, who knows.
Communication is always the key to anything and I've slowly been learning that. That's one huge lesson my past relationship with my ex taught me; that you're not going to go anywhere if you don't share with the other person how you feel, what your concerns are, what you want. No one's a mind reader and can assume that the other person knows what you want. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. I just wish though that some people were more like this with me and let me know what they want. It feels like some, sometimes my own friends, assume that I know what they want when I don't. If by some rare miracle I might know, I might be waiting for that person to say something first to see if they can. If you're strong and confident enough to be totally honest and upfront with me, I will truly admire you. Sometimes, you can't win them all right?
I feel really blessed today. I spent much needed time with Luna today and boy, I love that girl. I feel her love for me every time. Not just from her, but also from people I am really close with. Knowing that they love me, imperfections and all, really makes me grateful and blessed by the Lord that I have amazing people in my life.
Noooow, time for bed. Early gym sesh AND a timed run in science class. I got this though; I ran 2 miles with no breaks today. That's something I'm really proud of. I interval trained myself to get totally used to running and it's been a success. When I began running again last semester I did that, interval trained and ran 5 minutes, walked 5, and so on. It took me a long time, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. The more I run, the farther I'll be able to go if I'm faithful to my running. It's not how fast you run or how well you can keep up with others, but how you feel. I go slow when I run, so what. I still get a great run in, the pace shouldn't matter.
So good.
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