Finally!

Fridays are dedicated to my chicas and we go out. Saturdays are spent trying to catch up with homework. That's what I've been doing all day, homework, but I finished right on time! Put away my laundry, made a yummy dinner, took a shower, and now in my jammies and blasting 80s music for everyone to hear, hahahahaha! Although Liz is away in Utah this weekend and I haven't gone out and seen the sun today, I'm content with right now. I love moments where it's just me and my music being blasted, seriously one of my favorite moments. I don't need to have my hair done or dressed, I can be all lazy and not have a care in the world like I do now.

For my american epidemic class we have to have goals each week and by the end of it we grade ourselves on how we did on accomplishing those goals. Tomorrow I accomplish my biggest goal that I set for myself this week which is to go to ward choir. And lucky me, we sing tomorrow too. Although I missed the first meeting last week because I had other plans, I can still come and practice since we're singing in sacrament meeting tomorrow. I'm seriously so excited! I love singing and thanks to my mom's encouragement and constant, "you have a great voice you should join ward choir!", I'm finally going to do it. It may not seem like such a big deal for anyone, but it defiantly is for me because of my feelings towards exhibiting myself. But hey, if you can sing and love it- share it with the world!

So all day as I've mentioned, I've been on my own. One of my roommates was away at the Tempke to Temple, my other roommate is home for the weekend, and Liz is in Utah so I've basically had this apartment all to myself today. Let me tell you, I loved it. It really felt like this was MY place, MY home.But then I made dinner, sat down, and wondered. Will this be me 5 years from now? In her own place, content with the world, no worry whatsoever clouding my mind, no noisy siblings, no constant nagging from your mom, no roommates? It seriously was great. That's the thing about me, I love spending time alone, with my music and thoughts to accompany me. Especially after a week full of school, it's great to just relax and be lazy, in sweats, at least 1 time a week.

Speaking of my science class, it's pretty crazy. Crazy in a good way of course. Every class makes me feel so happy and excited to learn because I love the subject. I love learning about fitness and health. But I especially love the videos she shows us about these individuals who despite limitations that their body is supposed to give them, surpass all the odds and show the world that anything is possible if you really set your mind to it and dedicate yourself to achieve what you desire. It's really so inspiring, especially to me and my own body limitations. Despite those though, I don't let them get to me and my love of fitness. I can lift weights, I can dance, hold a plank, do jump squats--anything I set my mind to. I push my body to do these things even though in the back of my mind the voice is going, "hahahaha, you're gonna fail."

Talking my mom, going to my classes, and just re-evaluating my priorities has truly made me happier than I have been in a while. The spirit here is truly amazing. I feel it at the moments where I really need it. With the year sort of coming to a close, I've really gone through a huge and dramatic year, haven't I? But despite everything and the disappointments-- I'm truly grateful for them. They have made me realize SO MUCH about myself and my capabilities of enduring pain, sadness, and abandonment. They have opened my eyes and have allowed me to see how strong of an individual I really am. When you feel sad or just fed up, count your blessings. Believe me, it helps. I seriously love the Gospel. It really makes me happy. Without it, to be honest, I'd probably be dead right now. So basically, joining the church has saved me.

Have I mentioned how I absolutely love this album!? I'm seriously in love. And singing along to this is like the biggest happy pill ever. Like right now, as I type this, I'm singing away to this song and I seriously feel so immensely whole and happy and just, AH! I love the way music can make me feel.

Music is amazing.