Last minute rambles

The worst thing for me is being alone and in the quiet and laying in the dark. Because I think too much and it hurts my head. And I come close to letting it all out, but I can't. Thanks a lot. Now I feel like what anon said; a selfish self centered person.
Like the worst person ever. But then there's that voice of reason telling me otherwise.
I am the way I am. A single post I ramble on about an ex and how I saw it shouldn't determine who I am or not. I can figure things out like that on my own, thanks.

I honestly don't care who reads this. It's my fricking blog and I can write whatever the heck I want so anon, don't you dare say anything about me sounding selfish.
I won't admit it, but I know perfectly well who that is. The evidence is there. Pretty easy to figure it out.

First off, there was no honesty. So basically everything leading up to what happened was a lie? Every word. That's what hurts the most. Oh, and being led on and made a fool by pouring my heart out and having it twisted into a mess of unidentifiable pieces.
I might have been careless, I know and I recognized that. But I explained. I guess that wasn't enough.
But you broke your promise.
By not telling me how you were feeling and telling me what bugged you about me, you were not honest. You bottled up emotion and this is the end result.
I'm leaving you behind. I'll take the memories with me- cause that's how I want to remember you by.
I wish everything for you. I just couldn't imagine you'd hurt me by your silence.
Seriously, don't bottle things up. Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind or to be different. Or sound weird. Or strange. After all, life is much more interesting that way.

Dang it.
Ughhhh, can I just be an amoeba and not have to worry about things like this?

I've made it a tradition to get a new look with every breakup I go through.
Unlike last time, I'm not going to be as dramatic. It's my official way of getting over someone.

Can I be three again?
I see the kids I work with everyday and sit as they nap, and just think about how innocent they are. They have no idea how messed up life can get. Each and everyone of them will cry over someone, will fall in love, will hate life one minute and love it the next. But for now they don't have to worry about things like that.
That's why I want to be three; to be able not to care.
Because frankly, I mess up everything and I just don't want to care anymore. I'm tired of being the nice one.
But like my mom says, "como mujer, tienes que valorarte."
And I will by not caring about guys. Every single guy; no matter what stage in life they are, need to man up.

And I need to grow up.
This isn't high school anymore.
For now, just worry about yourself and not about pleasing others.

Peace out girl scout.