Service

I always kinda thought that I wasn't really a doer of granting service. I always thought that it involved doing something big like helping at a soap kitchen or organizing a blood drive- things like that. Until recently, I realized that service can be anything that allows the love of Christ to shine through.

I tutored Sebastian for a whole summer and I have known his family for eight years. Sebastian has a severe case of ADHD. He is very impulsive and he says whatever's on his mind. These qualities to some can become very annoying and quickly, others will start to dislike being around him. When I tutored him, I had enough of him. I wanted to leave my job because it was getting unbearable for me. He was so nosy sometimes and frankly, he slowly became in a way "obsessed" with me. Time passed and he didn't need me anymore. Then a couple years back we got in contact again. Well, he contacted me first and I was like, "ugh, not again". But since I can't find it in me to be mean and reject others, I talked to him. It was a "what would Jesus do?" kind of situation. I mean, I just couldn't tell him to leave me alone, I'm not like that.

Then as I let him into my life and offered him my friendship, I slowly came to the realization and understanding that I was basically his only friend.
He always told me how he feels like no one likes him or accepts him the way he is.  He feels that he has no friends he can trust except for me.

Then yesterday he called me and we talked. He told me how these kids at school hacked his email account and put some disturbing images there. Like honestly, how can people be so mean? Don't their brains kill them knowing that they are doing something harmful to an innocent kid that hasn't done NOTHING to them. This is why suicide happens- stupid, inconsiderate, heartless kids don't care about others. They think that doing these things will give them a raise, make them feel better about themselves.
I'm "crashing" a youth dance tomorrow so I invited Sebastian. I want to show him that not everyone is like the kids he's accustomed to associating with. So I asked his mom for permission and I swear- it looked like she was going to cry. She was so happy that I was so nice to him and cared about him. She told me how she appreciates everything I do for Sebastian. She told me how Sebastian looks up to me and admires me. He's inspired by my life- how despite so many hardships I've gone through, I can still succeed and go on and live a happy, fulfilling life. At that moment I felt the Spirit. That burning in my heart. I felt the Lord's love for Sebastian and His love for me. I felt like I was really making a difference in someone's life, someone who needs someone to help them get through hardships.

That's also another reason why I am so keen with the idea of working with children as my career. Because I love the Spirit that they bring into my life. I love feeling the amount of love that the Lord has for them. It's beautiful.

"You are truly a young women who knows no guile. You have a love for the children of men that knows no bounds and because of your sensitivity to children, you will be a great influence in the lives of many of our Heavenly Father's children here upon the Earth....You have the ability to set those around you at ease, especially young people. They will share the issues of life with you that they are struggling with....(and my favorite part) You will lift up the hands that hang down and be a blessing in the lives of those who are in need of love and friendship."

It really amazes me how as time passes, all these things associated with my patriarchal blessing are coming to pass.

I also have noticed how this section of my blessing I shared is so true. I am so blessed to me in this church, I really am. As more and more things are coming to pass with my effort to be a righteous women, the greater my understanding of the Gospel increases. And my testimony :)

This year, I will improve myself spiritually. I need to prepare myself with the proper "tools" to endure the many trials that will present themselves in my life as well as the many blessings that will present themselves. I want to be able to better appreciate them as they come along.
It really amazes me how much the Savior loves us. He is willing to forgive things that we do wrong. HE is willing to be our friend when no one else will. I really don't know where my life would be without this Gospel.

I make mistakes, I disappoint Him too, but with each passing day I try hard to perfect myself so that one day, I am perfect enough to live with Him once more. And that is the greatest joy that one could have.


And all this inspiration comes from solely one very important person. A person who too is trying to better himself and prepare for one of the most honorable things a man can do in his lifetime; serving the Lord and I really couldn't be happier for you Cainan.