Ehh

It's frustrating not knowing what a guy thinks.

And even more frustrating that I'm acting like this; falling for someone
a.) so quickly
b.) without having met them face to face


makes me feel a bit pathetic really.

But everything has a reason right?
I mean, I did ask for someone like him.

But I don't know, I really don't.  It would be easier if I just knew what he thought, but that really can't be done right now. I want to know and I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe he feels a tiny bit of feeling towards me, but then there's that little voice in my head that's like "he's probably just being nice and you're being dramatic and misinterpreting everything like you usually do". Haha, this is really annoying sometimes; the whole "I like him, does he like me too" stage. It makes me feel like a total elementary schooler.
I have this "gift" (if you'd like to call it that) about being able to perceive things about a person. It's hard to explain. To me, they just give a vibe of total peace and I can "see" how special they really are. That's the vibe I'm getting from him. I can just sense how much of an amazing guy he is.
I just know, have that impression, that he is going to play a very important role in my life.
I don't know, I wish I knew, I wish I knew if I should just forget about these feelings that are pretty much eating me on the inside or just see where this goes.

My mom says, "para haciendote illusiones porque no mas vas a salir lastimada." Should I just forget about it? ugh, if only someone could give me a quick and easy answer to this dilemma.

But the thing also is that, I trust him so easily. It just comes naturally. And I can't say that about everyone.
I found myself telling him about my parents' divorce. I usually don't open up to people that quickly or easily. And talking to him late at night gives me a sense of total calm and happiness; something I haven't had in a while. I never even notice how late it is until he points it out.

I told one of my best friends about him and she was like, "he totally digs you".
But on the other hand my other friend is all "if he only texts you and doesn't call at least, he's just looking to pass the time with you. Texting really isn't a form of letting someone know you're interested. If a guy really is interested in you, he would like hearing the sound of your voice." And she's right. But then on the other hand, I really don't mind if texting is all we do as long as I know that I'm on his mind when he does send me that one text out of the blue.

Ehh, for now I'm just going to let whatever happen happen


On that note, I shall go fold some laundry and watch Mulan.
Sometimes when it comes to movies, it's like a food craving. 
I just crave certain movies sometimes and right now, I crave Mulan.

Then later that party with Katie. Till 11. Will I survive?
Haha, I sure hope so. Right now I'm really not into the party mood, but I gotta let loose once in a while and tonight, that is exactly what I'm going to do.