It's random too because nothing really triggered it although somehow I'm just plain out sad. So many things; I want this semester to be over, I'm homesick, I can't stand this weather, I can't really handle my homework, I miss my friends, I miss being myself.
Being here back in school is not what it was supposed to be and it's all my fault too.
Mehhh. I'm tired.
I don't want to do anything at all, just go lay in my bed, somehow acquire a mini refrigerator and store all my food there and survive off of that, and watch netflix until this semester is over.
I really wish I didn't procrastinate, I would get so much done, but I just can't focus. It's impossible to hear. And I don't want to go to the library carrying all my crap along with me up a hill because then I'll get sweaty and that's really uncomfortable.
My humanities critique to write about for the Mirari brass Quintet that I attended Tuesday and my Study Guide for my child development class. Doesn't seem like a lot, but this is long homework. Especially the critique homework because I have no idea how he wants us to write it. There's an article on WHAT to include in it, but not HOW to write it. I'm gonna go crazy with this. Although, I have all the information I need, I'm just stuck on the how part. I could actually get it done if I didn't really put so much focus on getting it exactly perfect. Because that's how much effort I put into my work. That's why I get perfect 100s on all my work. #nerdstatus
And I'm easily distracted. I know I should turn off my music and concentrate, but I can't. I love music too much. It hurts to turn it off.
Maybe I should leave my child development hw till tomorrow? Nope, I want my afternoon nap time. And netflix time. FOCUS! I need lunch, lolz.
SO OFF TOPIC!
Back on topic then off to REALLY finish my homework, pinky swear.
Music huh?
I love to listen to anything, but there are those songs that are perfect for how I feel. They vary too, but these are my current favorites.
Happy song
Sad Song
Bored Song
Hyped Song
Mad Song
Random Inspirational Song
Cause I feel like I finally am. Took me forever to realize it; that my life was sort of empty again without him and that I needed him, but I'm finally over feeling like this because all that matters to me now is me, my friends, my family, and my overall happiness--and right now I really can't stand feeling like that again. Feeling like I have to make room for someone else in my life and make them happy. It's too much work on both ends. That's why I'm taking a break from the whole love thing.
I really hate this though. Whoever came up with the rule that exes can't be friends, huh? That's why I'm still friends with my exes. Because I want to disprove that.
So working on it. And I hope we're friends again. I'm sick of the drama and living with the assumption that being around your ex is bad. It could be because feelings can resurface, but it's possible to be friends again and I finally feel like I'm completely ready for that, it's easy (yet weird) for me to be friends with my past loves of my life(:
---END RANT---
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