I couldn't find a picture of me with my dad or a picture of my dad, but imagine this. He's a man, a man with a mustache.
Today has been a day that I spend all of it with m math homework. So lame.
...in a fork type of situation
take the road that takes you a step closer to your ultimate goal. But for me, while I go through this, I don't want to hurt people along the way.
That's me alright.
I cried
...because movies like this make me so excited to experience the real thing one day. It just makes me feel so happy that I cry of joy. For a moment, the marriage crazy person in me came out and cried by my side.
Even though I'm not married and mainly this movie was directed towards married couples, I learned a lot about keeping a successful marriage. And hopefully, that day comes, when the Lord says I'm ready of course. Still gotta learn to be patient on that matter!
Such a good movie.
I will never grow tired of watching it.
Even though I'm not married and mainly this movie was directed towards married couples, I learned a lot about keeping a successful marriage. And hopefully, that day comes, when the Lord says I'm ready of course. Still gotta learn to be patient on that matter!
I will never grow tired of watching it.
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Well, I found out about blogger after 8th grade. In my English class we were supposed to make a blog to respond on the teachers blog about some book we were reading at the time. Then after that whole unit, I set out to make my own. I made like 3 blogs, but they were unsuccessful. It wasn't until June 2011 that I finally made a blog that I liked and that lasted more than a couple weeks.
I made one because I like to go back and read the things that I ramble about. I like to remember about times in my life and re reading posts about those times is very nice and informative.
Anyway, I seriously can't get over how amazing hummus is. It's like sooooooooo delicious<3
I'm in the process of filling my FAFSA out since I have a green card now. It's so hard! Mostly because the whole income tax thingy is back at home and everything has to be done over the phone. And in spanish. I literally cried yesterday filling part of it out. My mom screaming at me because she couldn't find a certain section and I'm upset because she couldn't find it and ARG! Can I just skip this?
Apparently not.
55 MORE DAYS TILL I'M HOME!
I made one because I like to go back and read the things that I ramble about. I like to remember about times in my life and re reading posts about those times is very nice and informative.
Anyway, I seriously can't get over how amazing hummus is. It's like sooooooooo delicious<3
I'm in the process of filling my FAFSA out since I have a green card now. It's so hard! Mostly because the whole income tax thingy is back at home and everything has to be done over the phone. And in spanish. I literally cried yesterday filling part of it out. My mom screaming at me because she couldn't find a certain section and I'm upset because she couldn't find it and ARG! Can I just skip this?
Apparently not.
55 MORE DAYS TILL I'M HOME!
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Doing the challenge on my own time- much easier.
So day 11 huh?
Alrighty.
Yeah, my brother is my best friend. The greatest one I will ever have too. No one will be able to make me laugh like he does. No one. (maybe one day I'll find someone who does)
While we're here I might as well update on life. Life is going by very fast; the semester too. Which is a good thing too because I can't wait to be home! Midterms are here too, which makes it more real that this interesting semester is almost over. Like, this semester has been pretty cool in its own way I gotta say. I've met some cool people too; people that I sometimes get weird feelings about. Like I've known them forever. Like there's this guy in my humanities class, with him it is too unbelievably easy to talk to and have a great laugh with. Like the other day he as telling me about his friend and how he tried to create butterbeer by putting real butter in root beer. That was hilarious to me. I constantly have to remind myself that this semester is a non focus on liking someone and only liking my schoolwork. Next semester I'll get back on that horse and step my game up.
In terms of roommates, it's much better. I don't not tolerate them anymore. It's easier and easier to talk to them which is good. We talk, we laugh, but still no Liz type roommateship.She is actually part of the very few people that I can entirely be myself around. Gosh, I love that chick.
So day 11 huh?
Alrighty.
Yeah, my brother is my best friend. The greatest one I will ever have too. No one will be able to make me laugh like he does. No one. (maybe one day I'll find someone who does)
While we're here I might as well update on life. Life is going by very fast; the semester too. Which is a good thing too because I can't wait to be home! Midterms are here too, which makes it more real that this interesting semester is almost over. Like, this semester has been pretty cool in its own way I gotta say. I've met some cool people too; people that I sometimes get weird feelings about. Like I've known them forever. Like there's this guy in my humanities class, with him it is too unbelievably easy to talk to and have a great laugh with. Like the other day he as telling me about his friend and how he tried to create butterbeer by putting real butter in root beer. That was hilarious to me. I constantly have to remind myself that this semester is a non focus on liking someone and only liking my schoolwork. Next semester I'll get back on that horse and step my game up.
In terms of roommates, it's much better. I don't not tolerate them anymore. It's easier and easier to talk to them which is good. We talk, we laugh, but still no Liz type roommateship.She is actually part of the very few people that I can entirely be myself around. Gosh, I love that chick.
When certain things happen that you didn't really plan for
Come on.
Listening to the backstreet boys does this to me.
Non challenge related
Don't you just miss people so much that it drives you crazy? And you have like a dry feeling in your throat that can't be quenched until you see them again?
Yeah, that's me.
Yeah, that's me.
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
I feel so blank today. Not really blank, but pretty sad.
It's random too because nothing really triggered it although somehow I'm just plain out sad. So many things; I want this semester to be over, I'm homesick, I can't stand this weather, I can't really handle my homework, I miss my friends, I miss being myself.
Being here back in school is not what it was supposed to be and it's all my fault too.
Mehhh. I'm tired.
I don't want to do anything at all, just go lay in my bed, somehow acquire a mini refrigerator and store all my food there and survive off of that, and watch netflix until this semester is over.
I really wish I didn't procrastinate, I would get so much done, but I just can't focus. It's impossible to hear. And I don't want to go to the library carrying all my crap along with me up a hill because then I'll get sweaty and that's really uncomfortable.
My humanities critique to write about for the Mirari brass Quintet that I attended Tuesday and my Study Guide for my child development class. Doesn't seem like a lot, but this is long homework. Especially the critique homework because I have no idea how he wants us to write it. There's an article on WHAT to include in it, but not HOW to write it. I'm gonna go crazy with this. Although, I have all the information I need, I'm just stuck on the how part. I could actually get it done if I didn't really put so much focus on getting it exactly perfect. Because that's how much effort I put into my work. That's why I get perfect 100s on all my work. #nerdstatus
And I'm easily distracted. I know I should turn off my music and concentrate, but I can't. I love music too much. It hurts to turn it off.
Maybe I should leave my child development hw till tomorrow? Nope, I want my afternoon nap time. And netflix time. FOCUS! I need lunch, lolz.
SO OFF TOPIC!
Back on topic then off to REALLY finish my homework, pinky swear.
Music huh?
I love to listen to anything, but there are those songs that are perfect for how I feel. They vary too, but these are my current favorites.
Happy song
Sad Song
It's random too because nothing really triggered it although somehow I'm just plain out sad. So many things; I want this semester to be over, I'm homesick, I can't stand this weather, I can't really handle my homework, I miss my friends, I miss being myself.
Being here back in school is not what it was supposed to be and it's all my fault too.
Mehhh. I'm tired.
I don't want to do anything at all, just go lay in my bed, somehow acquire a mini refrigerator and store all my food there and survive off of that, and watch netflix until this semester is over.
I really wish I didn't procrastinate, I would get so much done, but I just can't focus. It's impossible to hear. And I don't want to go to the library carrying all my crap along with me up a hill because then I'll get sweaty and that's really uncomfortable.
My humanities critique to write about for the Mirari brass Quintet that I attended Tuesday and my Study Guide for my child development class. Doesn't seem like a lot, but this is long homework. Especially the critique homework because I have no idea how he wants us to write it. There's an article on WHAT to include in it, but not HOW to write it. I'm gonna go crazy with this. Although, I have all the information I need, I'm just stuck on the how part. I could actually get it done if I didn't really put so much focus on getting it exactly perfect. Because that's how much effort I put into my work. That's why I get perfect 100s on all my work. #nerdstatus
And I'm easily distracted. I know I should turn off my music and concentrate, but I can't. I love music too much. It hurts to turn it off.
Maybe I should leave my child development hw till tomorrow? Nope, I want my afternoon nap time. And netflix time. FOCUS! I need lunch, lolz.
SO OFF TOPIC!
Back on topic then off to REALLY finish my homework, pinky swear.
Music huh?
I love to listen to anything, but there are those songs that are perfect for how I feel. They vary too, but these are my current favorites.
Happy song
Sad Song
Bored Song
Hyped Song
Mad Song
Random Inspirational Song
Cause I feel like I finally am. Took me forever to realize it; that my life was sort of empty again without him and that I needed him, but I'm finally over feeling like this because all that matters to me now is me, my friends, my family, and my overall happiness--and right now I really can't stand feeling like that again. Feeling like I have to make room for someone else in my life and make them happy. It's too much work on both ends. That's why I'm taking a break from the whole love thing.
I really hate this though. Whoever came up with the rule that exes can't be friends, huh? That's why I'm still friends with my exes. Because I want to disprove that.
So working on it. And I hope we're friends again. I'm sick of the drama and living with the assumption that being around your ex is bad. It could be because feelings can resurface, but it's possible to be friends again and I finally feel like I'm completely ready for that, it's easy (yet weird) for me to be friends with my past loves of my life(:
---END RANT---
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
This semester I'm a hermit. I do my homework like all the time. That's what a majority of my life consists of now, but the reward is very satisfying because I have amazing grades right now. I'm taking hard classes this semester and getting them out of the way so that next semester I'm free to fully enjoy my college experience, the way it should be.
That's my biggest accomplishment that I'm currently very proud of right now(:
Lemme cheat a little bit and say 2 something's that I'm proud of.
As I mentioned before, I'm on track with my running schedule which I'm really happy about.
Although today I'm feeling pretty lazzzzzy. Maybe I should skip today and go early tomorrow since I don't have to do laundry. Yeaaaaaah, that's what I'm gonna do (:
On other non-blog challenge news; I am so hungry lately. I just want to eat everything. Meeeeeer.
I really want some chocolate. Maybe order some kiwi loco?
Nahh, I'm going there tomorrow anyway with Alida and Jenny. Finally, after like 1 entire semester with no contact whatsoever we're gonna hang out.
There's really nothing else to put on here. Nothing really interesting.
Hmmmm, maybe I should eat my mango. I have like 2 uneaten mangoes in the fridge that are screaming my name. Better that then just munching on kettlecorn and garlic crutons, yeah I know, not a very good combination at all.
Gonna go watch Saved by the Bell; trying to watch all the seasons.
Sayanora.
That's my biggest accomplishment that I'm currently very proud of right now(:
Lemme cheat a little bit and say 2 something's that I'm proud of.
As I mentioned before, I'm on track with my running schedule which I'm really happy about.
Although today I'm feeling pretty lazzzzzy. Maybe I should skip today and go early tomorrow since I don't have to do laundry. Yeaaaaaah, that's what I'm gonna do (:
On other non-blog challenge news; I am so hungry lately. I just want to eat everything. Meeeeeer.
I really want some chocolate. Maybe order some kiwi loco?
Nahh, I'm going there tomorrow anyway with Alida and Jenny. Finally, after like 1 entire semester with no contact whatsoever we're gonna hang out.
There's really nothing else to put on here. Nothing really interesting.
Hmmmm, maybe I should eat my mango. I have like 2 uneaten mangoes in the fridge that are screaming my name. Better that then just munching on kettlecorn and garlic crutons, yeah I know, not a very good combination at all.
Gonna go watch Saved by the Bell; trying to watch all the seasons.
Sayanora.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you AND day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
I'm a day behind...so I'll save myself the time and do yesterday's and today's posts in one gianormous post!
Day 7: a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
I would obviously say Jesus Christ, duh.
But let's mix it up a little bit, huh? I'm gonna talk about my madre.
This is a weird picture because I look weird, but my mommy looks cute. :)
My mom is my greatest role model because she shows to me what it's like to really fight to something you believe in and to endure all the hard trials that life throws at you. She has been through so much; so much ridicule, sorrow, disappointment- yet she is still very firm in keeping herself with a believing heart and with a very strong faithful heart. She's obviously not perfect and I've experienced those moments where she was hanging on a thread, but she has taught me to be more positive in times of hard trials. She is the one who has taught me accept myself the way I am and to say no to people in my life that don't appreciate who I am. She has taught me about the importance of a family- even though we don't have a normal one. She has taught me to love the Gospel and basically if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be a member of the church.
Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why
Well, I sorta consider this month to be practically over since we've reached the double digits, but whatever.
Since the start of this semester I haven't missed a day where I didn't go to the gym. Well, minus the weekends (my muscles need a break sometimes you know).There was one day though where I missed a day, but I made it up on a Saturday(:
Anyway, my short-term goal is to just run for the rest of the semester. No zumba (tear) until I return home. Just run.
Let's list.
-Get through the rest of this month then JUNE then 1 more month till I return to my beloved New York.
-Stop using up money on things I really don't need (like sunglasses...which I bought today on amazon).
Wait, these look long term.
REDO.
-practice math for upcoming tests
-actually catch up with parenting book (like 20 chapters...)
-get ecclesiastical hold removed
-go to interview for said hold
-figure out classes for fall semester
That's all I can really think of that I need to accomplish this month.
Peace out.
Olive you (:
Day 7: a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
I would obviously say Jesus Christ, duh.
But let's mix it up a little bit, huh? I'm gonna talk about my madre.
This is a weird picture because I look weird, but my mommy looks cute. :)
My mom is my greatest role model because she shows to me what it's like to really fight to something you believe in and to endure all the hard trials that life throws at you. She has been through so much; so much ridicule, sorrow, disappointment- yet she is still very firm in keeping herself with a believing heart and with a very strong faithful heart. She's obviously not perfect and I've experienced those moments where she was hanging on a thread, but she has taught me to be more positive in times of hard trials. She is the one who has taught me accept myself the way I am and to say no to people in my life that don't appreciate who I am. She has taught me about the importance of a family- even though we don't have a normal one. She has taught me to love the Gospel and basically if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be a member of the church.
Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why
Well, I sorta consider this month to be practically over since we've reached the double digits, but whatever.
Since the start of this semester I haven't missed a day where I didn't go to the gym. Well, minus the weekends (my muscles need a break sometimes you know).There was one day though where I missed a day, but I made it up on a Saturday(:
Anyway, my short-term goal is to just run for the rest of the semester. No zumba (tear) until I return home. Just run.
Let's list.
-Get through the rest of this month then JUNE then 1 more month till I return to my beloved New York.
-Stop using up money on things I really don't need (like sunglasses...which I bought today on amazon).
Wait, these look long term.
REDO.
-practice math for upcoming tests
-actually catch up with parenting book (like 20 chapters...)
-get ecclesiastical hold removed
-go to interview for said hold
-figure out classes for fall semester
That's all I can really think of that I need to accomplish this month.
Peace out.
Olive you (:
Day 6- Favorite super hero and why
I'm not really into the whole superhero thing so no idea how in the world I'm supposed to think of one.
Let's see, maybe Superman? Only because I like the movie; the old version one, not the Hollywood version.
There's nothing in particular that I admire about him, except his ability to fly- minus the cape.
I would love to learn to fly because (surprise, surprise) then I wouldn't need to learn how to drive, which I STILL don't know how to do. Although, since I have my green card now I can apply for my permit and figure out the whole modified car thing for cases like mine. Yeah, but if I knew how to fly- life would be fun and so much easier.
This was my favorite Superman ever. Not the weird cartoon and not the Hollywood Superman.
Let's see, maybe Superman? Only because I like the movie; the old version one, not the Hollywood version.
There's nothing in particular that I admire about him, except his ability to fly- minus the cape.
I would love to learn to fly because (surprise, surprise) then I wouldn't need to learn how to drive, which I STILL don't know how to do. Although, since I have my green card now I can apply for my permit and figure out the whole modified car thing for cases like mine. Yeah, but if I knew how to fly- life would be fun and so much easier.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
NOTE: This post was written yesterday; day 5 of the challenge. I just forgot to upload it.
Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah.
I went here during conference in October 11', but I first came here in September with my mom when we were on our way to BYU-Idaho fall semester with Alida and her mom. It was so cool. My favorite part was when we went to the visitor's center with some sister missionaries we met and watched a video about eternal families. I was bawling because the spirit touched me so strongly during that time. I thought about how someday I'm going to have a family of my own and we'll be together forever. But I was also sad at the fact that my current family might not be able to enjoy this blessing because of my dad not being a member. Everything is possible, right? Nothing is impossible with the Lord. He can make things happen that you think will never happen in a million years. For example, today my mom called me to tell me that our green cards arrived in the mail. Finally, after 13 years of waiting for these pieces of plastic. And here I thought that this moment would never happen, but it did. Now to wait 5 years to become a full US citizen. Oh boy, more waiting.
Apparently the same spiritual moment happened to my mom; she bawled too. It was truly a touching moment for both of us. That was my favorite part of the trip to Temple Square. Hopefully I go here again soon, but this time with my siblings too.
Something completely unrelated
Apparently there are 10 more weeks left of the semester. 10 more weeks of feeling like I'm not at home.
Because that's what fall semester felt like for me. Where I lived, especially with the people I spent with on a daily basis- that felt like home. The way it should be.
Like I said before, lesson learned.
And always listen to your mom because she's always right.
How many times will it be before I finally get this stuck into my head?
This weekend was fun. I spent it at Steph's apartment. From Friday to Monday. It really is nice; the silence that is here compared to the chaos that awaits for me when I return to my own apartment. The funny thing is though that I sorta miss that apartment. Mainly my bed. And the potential of seeing the guy that kinda drives me crazy.
I haven't even talked to him except for saying "hey" yet I kinda feel like I know him?
Kinda like how I felt about Cainan; like I've met him before- ya know?
MERP.
I'm just gonna leave everything up to the Lord. If something big is supposed to happen with this whole guy thing, so be it.
My anonymous commenter said to go for it. Thing is I'm done doing the pursuing. Soooooooooo, that's that.
TALKING ABOUT GUYS- on Saturday I went on a media hunt for my humanities class with my group. There's this guy I sit next to in class who was in my group and he's so nice. We get along really well. We really hit it off; friend wise. I'm happy about all the cool people I'm meeting this semester.
Talking about friends; I forgot to mention one very important guy in my life.
My best friend Mike. He's always been there for me since the very start and I'm so grateful for that. Anything I need; an ear to talk to or complain to- he's always there to listen.
I'm so grateful for all the people in my life that make my life happy and the people that are to come into it in the future :)
Because that's what fall semester felt like for me. Where I lived, especially with the people I spent with on a daily basis- that felt like home. The way it should be.
Like I said before, lesson learned.
And always listen to your mom because she's always right.
How many times will it be before I finally get this stuck into my head?
This weekend was fun. I spent it at Steph's apartment. From Friday to Monday. It really is nice; the silence that is here compared to the chaos that awaits for me when I return to my own apartment. The funny thing is though that I sorta miss that apartment. Mainly my bed. And the potential of seeing the guy that kinda drives me crazy.
I haven't even talked to him except for saying "hey" yet I kinda feel like I know him?
Kinda like how I felt about Cainan; like I've met him before- ya know?
MERP.
I'm just gonna leave everything up to the Lord. If something big is supposed to happen with this whole guy thing, so be it.
My anonymous commenter said to go for it. Thing is I'm done doing the pursuing. Soooooooooo, that's that.
TALKING ABOUT GUYS- on Saturday I went on a media hunt for my humanities class with my group. There's this guy I sit next to in class who was in my group and he's so nice. We get along really well. We really hit it off; friend wise. I'm happy about all the cool people I'm meeting this semester.
Talking about friends; I forgot to mention one very important guy in my life.
My best friend Mike. He's always been there for me since the very start and I'm so grateful for that. Anything I need; an ear to talk to or complain to- he's always there to listen.
I'm so grateful for all the people in my life that make my life happy and the people that are to come into it in the future :)
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have
A habit? Hmmmmmm?
I really can't think of one. WELL, my biggest "habit" is leaving everything till the last minute. And when I do I'm rushing everywhere trying to finish that task and then I get all stressed out and....just writing about it makes me panic. The thing is though, when I leave things till the last possible minute, I work better and get things done faster. When I know I have a week or a couple days to do it I put it off because I know I have time, but I don't cause I leave to do this assignment till the last minute. I work better under stress though, that's why. But I really wish I didn't. It would be nice to get things done before they're actually supposed to be done so that I could have some extra and MUCH NEEDED down time. Overall, I just described procrastination.
Procrastination; that's my bad habit I wish I could get rid of.
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Well there's definitely more than one picture because I have all different types of friends from different types of places...haha
My friends have changed throughout the years. Some have moved away, some stopped talking to me, and some some just left without any reason at all. But these snazzy people at the moment are a group of people I not only enjoy spending time with and laughing my head off with, but they're also people that have changed my life and made it a tad bit more bearable.
They have all taught me so many things; like Liz (or Lisabeth as she wants to be called now) has tauht me that it's ok to be yourself . Tiffany has taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to. 7 years ago I met this snazzy chica and boy am I glad. She's the only one that knows everything about me and doesn't judge. Luna taught me to get in touch with my latina roots and to be a more charitable person. Cainan has taught me to get super motivated to turn my life around and to make myself worthy again. He's the main reason that I developed that courage to go through the entire repentance process and release those chains of torment that I put myself into for so many years. So thank you, where ever you are. :)
And a bunch of other people...well the list of lessons goes on.
So thank you for being in my life.
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name
The meaning behind my blogger name is pretty simple. It comes from a Panic! At The Disco song that I really hold close to my heart. Haha, just kidding. I love this song- it's really good and all that jazz. The video is really something too.
Here ya go.
Pretty self explanatory.
Here ya go.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
15 facts? Here goes...
1. I was born on December 27, 992. I like to think it was on a Sunday for some reason.
2. I'm currently 19 years old. Hard to believe for some people actually because according to them I look like I'm 16 or something. It's not cool.
3. I'm short. 5'3.
4. I really enjoy music. It makes up practically my whole life. I can spend an entire day in my room just listening to whatever I'm in the mood for. I like all types of music, there really isn't a genre I don't like. Like I used to not really like listening to reggeaton, but now (according to my previous post) I really love it.
5. I don't like change. I don't like it because it confuses me. I'm used to routine things with the usual people. I'm not completely opposed to it; as a matter of fact I like it sometimes, but for the most part I like things to stay the way they are. But more in the social sense.
6. I love exercise. I used to hate it like a lot, but now I can't go on with my day if I don't do it. (excluding Sundays of course!)
7. I love my family. They have taught me so much about life and I feel like we were all meant to be together because of the way our relationships are. (yes, even my dad)
8. I have 2 pets; a cat and a dog. I have parakeets too, but I usually don't count them because they don't really do anything besides chirp, eat, sleep, and poop. My cat Michela and my do Josie, they do those things too (minus the chirping), but they are like little kids in animal bodies. They can sense when I'm sad and comfort me. I love both of them so much.
9. My brother is my best friend. When I talk to people, they usually say that they don't really have a strong relationship with their siblings. I do! I love my little sister to death, but my relationship with my brother is one that..well...is really strong. He's like my other half. Without him I don't feel myself or complete. Life isn't happy if he's not in it.
10. I hate it when people eat chips or basically anything that makes crunch noises...especially if I'm trying to sleep or concentrate on something.
11. I love to laugh. That's a must have quality that my future husband must have or it's a no go.
12. I have mild hemiplegia. I don't like calling it a disability even though it can be classified as that. I like to think of it as a blanket...a blanket that prevents me from becoming like the rest of the world and that makes me into who I am.
13. I love to sing. I've been told I'm pretty good. I especially like singing in Spanish.
14. I'm really good at telling when people lie to me. So watch out.
15. And most important of all... I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Click here if you don't know what we're all about. And no, there's no polygamy!
30 day blogger challenge
I saw this on another person's blog and I was like "what the heck, I might as well" So here goes.
•Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
•Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name
•Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
•Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
•Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
•Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
•Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
•Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
•Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
•Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
•Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
•Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
•Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
•Day 14- A picture of you and your family
•Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
•Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)
•Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
•Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
•Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
•Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
•Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
•Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
•Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
•Day 24- A letter to your parents
•Day 25- What I would find in your bag
•Day 26- What you think about your friends
•Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
•Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
•Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
•Day 30- Who are you?
•Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
•Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name
•Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
•Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
•Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
•Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
•Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
•Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
•Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
•Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
•Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
•Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
•Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
•Day 14- A picture of you and your family
•Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
•Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)
•Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
•Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
•Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
•Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
•Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
•Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
•Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
•Day 24- A letter to your parents
•Day 25- What I would find in your bag
•Day 26- What you think about your friends
•Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
•Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
•Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
•Day 30- Who are you?
Favs
These are a few songs that I'm currently REALLY into. Great songs to workout to too. And walk to class to; it pumps me up. I love it.
Excuse the video, I only like the song. And yes, I am currently very into Daddy Yankee--among other artists and music genres.
And Wisin y Wandel.
This would be a good time to know spanish...hehehe.
I like his voice; it's not singing---musical rhyming? It's not rap.
I seriously love reggeaton.
And this....it's like whoa.
Overall, I really really like Daddy Yankee now.
And Wisin y Wandel.
I love music...I really do. I love all the kinds that are out there. And I love discovering new types of music I enjoy listening to.
:)
C'mon, seriously...?
My main priority this semester is to 100% focus on school and keeping my grades in the A area. Basically I'm a TOTAL hermit this semester (sorta...kinda...like 80% of the time). I go to class, go to the gym. and do homework. On the weekends I do laundry and I go over to Steph's and stay until curfew. My other goal was to eliminate my boy crazy nature so that I could focus. I'm actually doing ok I guess...not really paying so much attention on the attractiveness of every guy I encounter on a daily basis here at school. BUT SERIOUSLY?
I think life is playing a joke on me; trying to make me loose my focus. So today in Book of Mormon, I sit in my usual seat; front row (I have sight issues) . I'm sitting there, waiting for my buddy Emily to arrive and then this totally gorgeous guy comes and sits next to me. He took Emily's seat, I was kinda pissed BUT luckily there was another seat on my other side. Anyway, throughout the entire class (or at least a majority of it) 1. I caught him looking at me and 2. he was flexing his arms. In my mind I was like "really?" I couldn't focus at all. Then he kept leaning in closer to me. I was like, "ummmm..." And every time he saw I was looking at him (not intentionally-- I needed to see the teacher) he turned red. Did I mention he has an amazing singing voice?
See, this is why I can't be focusing on things like this--I loose focus in class.
Then there's this other guy. I show zero interest in him yet I have a feeling that he's going to try to pull something. Every time he sees me he's like "hi Jess" and I usually just mutter a quick friendly "hey" back and go on my way. Like really, I have a gut feeling something's going to happen. Just watch nothing happen and I'm over-thinking like I usually do. But that simple "hi Jess" drives me crazy. I start dreaming about him (life being not so funny again) and getting all weird feelings in the pit of my stomach when he pops into my mind. And he makes his way into my mind at the randomest moments too--I'm not even thinking about anything then POW, he's on my mind.
You gotta be kidding me, at the moment when I want to concentrate and put all my effort into school--guys start popping out of the blue. When I need them to, nothing. But when I don't...this happens.
I think life is playing a joke on me; trying to make me loose my focus. So today in Book of Mormon, I sit in my usual seat; front row (I have sight issues) . I'm sitting there, waiting for my buddy Emily to arrive and then this totally gorgeous guy comes and sits next to me. He took Emily's seat, I was kinda pissed BUT luckily there was another seat on my other side. Anyway, throughout the entire class (or at least a majority of it) 1. I caught him looking at me and 2. he was flexing his arms. In my mind I was like "really?" I couldn't focus at all. Then he kept leaning in closer to me. I was like, "ummmm..." And every time he saw I was looking at him (not intentionally-- I needed to see the teacher) he turned red. Did I mention he has an amazing singing voice?
See, this is why I can't be focusing on things like this--I loose focus in class.
Then there's this other guy. I show zero interest in him yet I have a feeling that he's going to try to pull something. Every time he sees me he's like "hi Jess" and I usually just mutter a quick friendly "hey" back and go on my way. Like really, I have a gut feeling something's going to happen. Just watch nothing happen and I'm over-thinking like I usually do. But that simple "hi Jess" drives me crazy. I start dreaming about him (life being not so funny again) and getting all weird feelings in the pit of my stomach when he pops into my mind. And he makes his way into my mind at the randomest moments too--I'm not even thinking about anything then POW, he's on my mind.
You gotta be kidding me, at the moment when I want to concentrate and put all my effort into school--guys start popping out of the blue. When I need them to, nothing. But when I don't...this happens.
This too shall give thee experience
That's how I usually feel like. MUR!
I seriously need to be more positive about this situation I'm in. Like my mom says "this will give you experience" and it will! I learned a very valuable lesson from it too: Don't room with strangers. Ok, people can handle this, but I can't. I need to be with people that I know. I'm not good at adjusting to new things, it freaks me out. I'm just that way I guess.
So today for FHE we're playing frisbee. I'm still gonna go--make an appearance, but I don't plan on playing because of my "condition" hahahaha.
I told my FHE mom about it (sorta, not the full details or anything). As time goes on I'm becoming more and more comfortable telling people about my medical situation. The only main reason why I'm hesitant is because I don't want people to feel sorry for me and end up treating and looking at me differently. It kills me. People will treat me differently like a charity case or whatever and I'll end up feeling like crap. I just want people to like me and talk to me for ME and my personality, not because they feel sorry for me. I don't need sympathy. It's nice and whatever at times, but I have enough sympathy from years worth of worthless doctor's visits that ended up doing close to nothing for me except treat me like a human guinea pig. I just want to be treated like everyone else, that's all. That's also why I have acceptance issues-- because I'm freaked out people won't like me when they find out and start seeing me as a "freak" or whatever. That's what goes on in my mind. I'm pretty sure that most people who know about me don't think I'm a freak, but I can't help thinking that new people I meet will when they find out or see me with a majority of my hand movements directed mainly by my right hand.
My best friend Tiffany always brings this up. To find a doctor to help me. But the thing is that I have. And I was SO close to getting a tendon transplant to give my hand a majority (not all) of its movement back, but the doctor cancelled it at the last moment--like the day before. I was so mad and upset. I cried for hours. There goes my chance to be at least a bit normal. Then it hit me. Heavenly Father gave me this for a reason and rather than try to fight against it, I was going to accept it. Because let's face it, this condition (known as mild hemiplegia actually. A ton of people have the much more serious one- like no movement at all whereas I have some movement. Most cases are in the UK) makes me into who I am. It's a part of me. It's what makes me ME. It has also taught me to build my faith in the Lord and of course it has tremendously contributed to my testimony. I didn't give up, but I'm not fighting anymore. I have just learned to accept the way the Lord made me. I have learned how to work my way around it. I learned to type with my right hand. I can catch almost perfectly with only my right. I can do almost everything that a normal person can. It's not that I don't use my left and just let it dangle. I try to use it. Use it for supporting me when my right can't handle it all on it's own.
I look forward to the day of the First Resurrection--where our bodies will be perfected and all infirmities are cured. But in the meantime, gotta endure until the end.
(That's also why I absolutely love the Gospel. Because it gives me hope. It gives me that reassurance that everything is going to be OK and I just have to be faithful.)
So far this semester has allowed me to rely tremendously of the Lord.
And I love that.
I seriously need to be more positive about this situation I'm in. Like my mom says "this will give you experience" and it will! I learned a very valuable lesson from it too: Don't room with strangers. Ok, people can handle this, but I can't. I need to be with people that I know. I'm not good at adjusting to new things, it freaks me out. I'm just that way I guess.
So today for FHE we're playing frisbee. I'm still gonna go--make an appearance, but I don't plan on playing because of my "condition" hahahaha.
I told my FHE mom about it (sorta, not the full details or anything). As time goes on I'm becoming more and more comfortable telling people about my medical situation. The only main reason why I'm hesitant is because I don't want people to feel sorry for me and end up treating and looking at me differently. It kills me. People will treat me differently like a charity case or whatever and I'll end up feeling like crap. I just want people to like me and talk to me for ME and my personality, not because they feel sorry for me. I don't need sympathy. It's nice and whatever at times, but I have enough sympathy from years worth of worthless doctor's visits that ended up doing close to nothing for me except treat me like a human guinea pig. I just want to be treated like everyone else, that's all. That's also why I have acceptance issues-- because I'm freaked out people won't like me when they find out and start seeing me as a "freak" or whatever. That's what goes on in my mind. I'm pretty sure that most people who know about me don't think I'm a freak, but I can't help thinking that new people I meet will when they find out or see me with a majority of my hand movements directed mainly by my right hand.
My best friend Tiffany always brings this up. To find a doctor to help me. But the thing is that I have. And I was SO close to getting a tendon transplant to give my hand a majority (not all) of its movement back, but the doctor cancelled it at the last moment--like the day before. I was so mad and upset. I cried for hours. There goes my chance to be at least a bit normal. Then it hit me. Heavenly Father gave me this for a reason and rather than try to fight against it, I was going to accept it. Because let's face it, this condition (known as mild hemiplegia actually. A ton of people have the much more serious one- like no movement at all whereas I have some movement. Most cases are in the UK) makes me into who I am. It's a part of me. It's what makes me ME. It has also taught me to build my faith in the Lord and of course it has tremendously contributed to my testimony. I didn't give up, but I'm not fighting anymore. I have just learned to accept the way the Lord made me. I have learned how to work my way around it. I learned to type with my right hand. I can catch almost perfectly with only my right. I can do almost everything that a normal person can. It's not that I don't use my left and just let it dangle. I try to use it. Use it for supporting me when my right can't handle it all on it's own.
I look forward to the day of the First Resurrection--where our bodies will be perfected and all infirmities are cured. But in the meantime, gotta endure until the end.
(That's also why I absolutely love the Gospel. Because it gives me hope. It gives me that reassurance that everything is going to be OK and I just have to be faithful.)
So far this semester has allowed me to rely tremendously of the Lord.
And I love that.
it's almost may!
So I'm just sitting here, right before humanities class which starts at 11:30; so like in 27 minutes. That class is so...interesting, but in a totally boring way. It's interesting though what we're doing now which is learning all about these different creation myths from around the world and comparing them to the Genesis creation story. But overall, it's pretty dull. Recap on the weekend! On Saturday I decided to be social (hahahahahaha) and "bond" with my roommates. On Saturday we had a game night and they invited all these guys. They were cute for sure, but in reality it didn't really matter to me. We played these question games which was surprisingly pretty fun. Then on Sunday after church Jessica (one of the roommates who also happens to share my name. Funny story about that I'll share later) made homemade chicken noodle soup she shared with us. /it was pretty good too. Then we sat down and watched Hercules. Then a couple guys came over (bug surprise there!) while I attempted to do some homework while watching the movie. I got nothing done really, except for my humanities homework. Then I talked with my brother, which was really nice. That was about it really. I could try to deal with this for I don't know, 2 more months? We'll see.
FHE starts today. I kinda have mixed feelings about this for some reason. Both excited and kinda freaked out about it. I hope it's not lame like my other FHE. Well, actually, that one wasn't so bad. Only difference now is that it'll be with the much older gguys, not the premish guys. I think only a couple are there? I really don't know. Whatever. We'll see how that goes.
I really need to pee before class starts.
HA.
FHE starts today. I kinda have mixed feelings about this for some reason. Both excited and kinda freaked out about it. I hope it's not lame like my other FHE. Well, actually, that one wasn't so bad. Only difference now is that it'll be with the much older gguys, not the premish guys. I think only a couple are there? I really don't know. Whatever. We'll see how that goes.
I really need to pee before class starts.
HA.
Corre
You know that specific song that you love listening to numerous times?
That song that brings a huge smile on your face?
Well, I love this. A lot.
I love spanish music.
So beautiful.
That song that brings a huge smile on your face?
Well, I love this. A lot.
So beautiful.
The Magic Flute
As of right now at this exact moment, I'm listening to this classical piece called The Magic Flute by the London Philharmonic Orchestra and David Parry. Classical music isn't really my first choice of music, but it's alright. Very relaxing too.
I need to listen to like 99 tracks of classical music my humanities teacher assigned us and I think we need to become familiar with like 32 of these songs and we're going to be quizzed on it too. Oh boy.
As an update, I'm in the second week of spring semester. It's not too bad so far, but a lot of busy work! I barely have time to just sit or watch a movie (minus this- writing a post. I only had one class today). Classes are good, like I said very busy too. I dropped my 3 hour marriage class because I need to focus on my math class. The first day of working on math I already became hopelessly confused. So a majority of my time needs to be spent with math. I'll take the regular not three hours marriage class fall semester. :)
My classes are crazy! So much work due! I finish one thing then there's another one that pops up...it never ends!
Talking about classes, my math class is pretty interesting. I actually get it for once. But if I prepare myself before class by reviewing the day's work and of course, practicing A LOT!
In terms of dorm (or apartment life?) it's mehhh. I don't love it and I don't hate it either. My roommates are super nice and all, but they're just not the type of people that I usually associate myself with. They're crazy and loud and well, I'm really not. I can be crazy and loud at times, but not ALL the time. I'm a serious person that takes things very seriously. And at times I relax a bit and let the crazy and loudness out. And to be honest, I was brought up to be a proper, polite, quiet person.I really can't change that no matter how hard I try or whatever effort I put in to change. Like I told Liz yesterday, CUCUMBER. but a cucumber that can be very annoying at times that it really gets on your nerves. But its a nice bunch of cucumbers.
So the other day was a bit interesting for me. So I walk out of my book of mormon class with my headphones blasting and I'm all into my music and all then bam! I trip over a step I didn't see. I tried to get up, as if nothing happened, but my backpack was heavy so every time I tried to get up I just fell back down again. This girl stopped and asked me if I was OK. Yeah, I was. THEN, this really awesomely looking guy named Allen reaches out his hand for me. I grab it. It was so smooth! Then we started to laugh it off and we talked and laughed some more...it was nice. I hope to see him again (:
My classes are crazy! So much work due! I finish one thing then there's another one that pops up...it never ends!
My head hurts.
I really hate it when people ask me I have a boyfriend yet or if I like someone. It makes me listen to romantic spanish ballads and think about him. I really try to avoid it, but like a random itch, it creeps to my mind and doesn't leave. I'm on break in that department. But here in Rexburg, there's really no escaping the lovey doveyness. My roommate with her boyfriend, the married couples in my classes, the couples on the street, walking, holding hands...it just makes me sad because I blew it when I had that. Although, I'm not entirely sure if what feeling I had was love or not. Was it just love for being with someone or IN love with him? Actually both. But alas, the time will come.
HERE'S THE DEAL. Now that I've cleaned myself up spiritually, I really am ready. I'm ready to fall heads over heels in love with someone. I know, I know, typical mormon. And I feel like I always end up writing about this topic, which I do. Let's do some analysis of my life to come into some conclusions.
I grew up with absolutely no father figure. I have a dad, but he's just there. We never have heart to heart convos, nothing. I have no model for myself of what guy I should be falling for. Both of my parents are married, but their marriage is in crumbles. There's always screaming, crying, cruelty, tears-- not my idea of a happy family to grow up in. I was always taught to not talk back, to be respectful--a factor that I believe adds on to my somewhat conservative personality. Anyway, I just want an escape. I want a family that I would have loved to grownup in. I want that kind of love that I see at church, in my ward. I want that bit of happiness that doesn't only last a few months, but that happiness that lasts for all eternity. That happiness that only that person brings into your life. That person only you have eyes for and no one else matters. That person that you want to help you be a better version of yourself. That person you would do anything for and expect nothing in return That person who cares more about your happiness than their own.
It is the biggest dream I have, really.
*here come the tears*
Oh boy, some people's voices can really trigger your tear ducts to prepare to let loose.
I think about it sometimes. Who would want me though? I'm the weirdest person ever. I have stuff that's wrong with me. I have emotional baggage. Is there really someone out there that is preparing to marry me like it says in my blessing? I really do wonder.
So I went latin dancing last week and that was...interesting. It was like a youth dance all over again. Choosing someone to dance with or waiting till someone asks you. And when nobody does you ask yourself, "is there something wrong with me?" Well, obviously for me there is. I have a lame hand and foot-a product from a bad fall when I was younger and all the physical abuse I received as a child in the head that screwed up my brain. I can't do most things people can, like skip, or catch a ball with both hands, or something simple like getting dressed in the morning and wondering if you're ever going to stop wearing the foot cast you have to help you walk. I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of people out there with my unique story. But every time I feel useless and abnormal about what I go through, I think about the why. Why the Lord gave me this. It says (somewhere, I don't really remember) that the Lord gives His strongest soldiers the hardest battles. My mom told me that the bishop told her many years ago that the Lord gives these types of conditions to those that fought with Him in battle so that they remain humble spirits. Am I really that special? Sometimes it's hard to accept that because then I feel like I'm thinking I'm all that, but I'm not.
Is there really someone that can take me and accept all of me? Someone that understands what I've been through? Someone that can help me heal? Someone that can help me forget and make me feel like there's nothing wrong with me?
QUESTIONS.
QUESTIONS.
Questions.
That I patiently have to wait to be answered.
But when? Come on, when?
I need to listen to like 99 tracks of classical music my humanities teacher assigned us and I think we need to become familiar with like 32 of these songs and we're going to be quizzed on it too. Oh boy.
As an update, I'm in the second week of spring semester. It's not too bad so far, but a lot of busy work! I barely have time to just sit or watch a movie (minus this- writing a post. I only had one class today). Classes are good, like I said very busy too. I dropped my 3 hour marriage class because I need to focus on my math class. The first day of working on math I already became hopelessly confused. So a majority of my time needs to be spent with math. I'll take the regular not three hours marriage class fall semester. :)
My classes are crazy! So much work due! I finish one thing then there's another one that pops up...it never ends!
Talking about classes, my math class is pretty interesting. I actually get it for once. But if I prepare myself before class by reviewing the day's work and of course, practicing A LOT!
In terms of dorm (or apartment life?) it's mehhh. I don't love it and I don't hate it either. My roommates are super nice and all, but they're just not the type of people that I usually associate myself with. They're crazy and loud and well, I'm really not. I can be crazy and loud at times, but not ALL the time. I'm a serious person that takes things very seriously. And at times I relax a bit and let the crazy and loudness out. And to be honest, I was brought up to be a proper, polite, quiet person.I really can't change that no matter how hard I try or whatever effort I put in to change. Like I told Liz yesterday, CUCUMBER. but a cucumber that can be very annoying at times that it really gets on your nerves. But its a nice bunch of cucumbers.
So the other day was a bit interesting for me. So I walk out of my book of mormon class with my headphones blasting and I'm all into my music and all then bam! I trip over a step I didn't see. I tried to get up, as if nothing happened, but my backpack was heavy so every time I tried to get up I just fell back down again. This girl stopped and asked me if I was OK. Yeah, I was. THEN, this really awesomely looking guy named Allen reaches out his hand for me. I grab it. It was so smooth! Then we started to laugh it off and we talked and laughed some more...it was nice. I hope to see him again (:
My classes are crazy! So much work due! I finish one thing then there's another one that pops up...it never ends!
My head hurts.
I really hate it when people ask me I have a boyfriend yet or if I like someone. It makes me listen to romantic spanish ballads and think about him. I really try to avoid it, but like a random itch, it creeps to my mind and doesn't leave. I'm on break in that department. But here in Rexburg, there's really no escaping the lovey doveyness. My roommate with her boyfriend, the married couples in my classes, the couples on the street, walking, holding hands...it just makes me sad because I blew it when I had that. Although, I'm not entirely sure if what feeling I had was love or not. Was it just love for being with someone or IN love with him? Actually both. But alas, the time will come.
HERE'S THE DEAL. Now that I've cleaned myself up spiritually, I really am ready. I'm ready to fall heads over heels in love with someone. I know, I know, typical mormon. And I feel like I always end up writing about this topic, which I do. Let's do some analysis of my life to come into some conclusions.
I grew up with absolutely no father figure. I have a dad, but he's just there. We never have heart to heart convos, nothing. I have no model for myself of what guy I should be falling for. Both of my parents are married, but their marriage is in crumbles. There's always screaming, crying, cruelty, tears-- not my idea of a happy family to grow up in. I was always taught to not talk back, to be respectful--a factor that I believe adds on to my somewhat conservative personality. Anyway, I just want an escape. I want a family that I would have loved to grownup in. I want that kind of love that I see at church, in my ward. I want that bit of happiness that doesn't only last a few months, but that happiness that lasts for all eternity. That happiness that only that person brings into your life. That person only you have eyes for and no one else matters. That person that you want to help you be a better version of yourself. That person you would do anything for and expect nothing in return That person who cares more about your happiness than their own.
It is the biggest dream I have, really.
*here come the tears*
Oh boy, some people's voices can really trigger your tear ducts to prepare to let loose.
I think about it sometimes. Who would want me though? I'm the weirdest person ever. I have stuff that's wrong with me. I have emotional baggage. Is there really someone out there that is preparing to marry me like it says in my blessing? I really do wonder.
So I went latin dancing last week and that was...interesting. It was like a youth dance all over again. Choosing someone to dance with or waiting till someone asks you. And when nobody does you ask yourself, "is there something wrong with me?" Well, obviously for me there is. I have a lame hand and foot-a product from a bad fall when I was younger and all the physical abuse I received as a child in the head that screwed up my brain. I can't do most things people can, like skip, or catch a ball with both hands, or something simple like getting dressed in the morning and wondering if you're ever going to stop wearing the foot cast you have to help you walk. I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of people out there with my unique story. But every time I feel useless and abnormal about what I go through, I think about the why. Why the Lord gave me this. It says (somewhere, I don't really remember) that the Lord gives His strongest soldiers the hardest battles. My mom told me that the bishop told her many years ago that the Lord gives these types of conditions to those that fought with Him in battle so that they remain humble spirits. Am I really that special? Sometimes it's hard to accept that because then I feel like I'm thinking I'm all that, but I'm not.
Is there really someone that can take me and accept all of me? Someone that understands what I've been through? Someone that can help me heal? Someone that can help me forget and make me feel like there's nothing wrong with me?
QUESTIONS.
QUESTIONS.
Questions.
That I patiently have to wait to be answered.
But when? Come on, when?
Las gringas
No se que me pasa. No puedo entender porque no me puede llevar con muchachas que son puritas gringas. No me cayen bien por eso. se hacen como si son las mas interesantes y las mas bnitas---eso me mata. No me gita tipos de personas que se hacen las mejores que los demas. Ya se que no estoy en el lugar de juzgar, pero como pude sobortarles? Al menos no so malas y me hablan.
Esta es la segunda vez que me apagan la luz cuando estoy en el cuarto. Soy invisible?
Mehhhh, al menos tengo una amiga en la misma situacion y podemos sufrir juntas! :D
Esta es la segunda vez que me apagan la luz cuando estoy en el cuarto. Soy invisible?
Mehhhh, al menos tengo una amiga en la misma situacion y podemos sufrir juntas! :D
Sometimes it's easier to go with your original plans
It's already Monday. Two days of being back in Idaho.
How is it? Well, it's not super awesome, but not super horrible either. Wait, scratch that. Yes it is, just not that much though.
I really do regret switching to the first floor. I should have just stayed with my original plan, which was to share an apartment with Annka and her friend on the 3rd floor. The stairs wouldn't have been such a big deal in the end compared to now--which isn't bad. It's just "eh".
It's really awkward. All my roommates know each other and I'm like the awkward one in the picture. Like a misshapen piece of a puzzle. I gotta understand something. Something that I read on Liz's blog. That just because you're rooming together doesn't mean you have to be friends. I'll talk to them if its necessary, but that's it. I have my own friends here in Rexburg too and I can hang out with them all I want. I just live here haha. Like renting an apartment really. It'll be bearable.
This semester my MAIN priority is school. I need to get my GPA really high up. I'm almost there too--I'm 3.2 and I need it up to at least a 3.7 if I want a scholarship by the start of sophomore year.
Social wise, it shouldn't be too bad. I'm already making some pretty awesome friends :)
and seriously, prayers really are answered :)
Boy wise, NO THANKS. It just wouldn't work out--whoever it could be. Even if we're in the same track.
Being in a relationship is just too time consuming for me.
It steers me away from working on myself and focusing on more important things. Guys are just awkward to talk to. I'm done trying. Wait, that sounds depressing. I mean, I'm not giving up on relationships, just for now its the farthest thing from the front of my mind now. I really want to make my mom proud...and my dad. I want to be less of a financial burden for my mommy now that Adrian starts college in the fall.
It's not going to be so awful being away from my family this time around. Technology is a nice thing--especially video calling :D
Stephanie (from fall semester) arrived today! I'm actually meeting up with her later. I'm so excited! haha
How is it? Well, it's not super awesome, but not super horrible either. Wait, scratch that. Yes it is, just not that much though.
I really do regret switching to the first floor. I should have just stayed with my original plan, which was to share an apartment with Annka and her friend on the 3rd floor. The stairs wouldn't have been such a big deal in the end compared to now--which isn't bad. It's just "eh".
It's really awkward. All my roommates know each other and I'm like the awkward one in the picture. Like a misshapen piece of a puzzle. I gotta understand something. Something that I read on Liz's blog. That just because you're rooming together doesn't mean you have to be friends. I'll talk to them if its necessary, but that's it. I have my own friends here in Rexburg too and I can hang out with them all I want. I just live here haha. Like renting an apartment really. It'll be bearable.
This semester my MAIN priority is school. I need to get my GPA really high up. I'm almost there too--I'm 3.2 and I need it up to at least a 3.7 if I want a scholarship by the start of sophomore year.
Social wise, it shouldn't be too bad. I'm already making some pretty awesome friends :)
and seriously, prayers really are answered :)
Boy wise, NO THANKS. It just wouldn't work out--whoever it could be. Even if we're in the same track.
Being in a relationship is just too time consuming for me.
It steers me away from working on myself and focusing on more important things. Guys are just awkward to talk to. I'm done trying. Wait, that sounds depressing. I mean, I'm not giving up on relationships, just for now its the farthest thing from the front of my mind now. I really want to make my mom proud...and my dad. I want to be less of a financial burden for my mommy now that Adrian starts college in the fall.
It's not going to be so awful being away from my family this time around. Technology is a nice thing--especially video calling :D
Stephanie (from fall semester) arrived today! I'm actually meeting up with her later. I'm so excited! haha
Back to the good ol' west
I'm back to the west again! It definitely is a weird feeling. My break was so long I just can't get over the idea that I'm not going back home till July. Leaving my family was not that hard this time around, but for my mom--she started crying and saying how she's not seeing me until July and she's going to miss me. It must be hard seeing your child leave your side--with no idea whatsoever what they're up to on a daily basis.
For my little sister--she put her brave face on. She knew where I was going and what I'm going to do. She knows I'll eventually come back again.I really love her. She even let me take her One Direction poster (which took a lot of last minute convincing to get her to let me bring it), but she surrendered.
I'm definitely excited about this semester. I'm taking pretty awesome classes too! (except for math, that subject is still gruesome). I brought a ton of pictures to put on my wall. Like a collage. And I brought my Jesus Christ portrait and my Manhattan Temple picture to hang up. And Adrian actually surprised me by giving me a collection of pictures of temples. Yay!
I've been communicating with my would be roommates for this semester. They seem pretty fun. I hope we all get along great--that would make the semester very enjoyable.
How could I forget to bring my Zumba DVD set? I didn't that's for sure. I can't wait to continue with my Zumba while in school and hopefully my roommates want to do it too eventually. It seriously is so much fun! More fun and enjoyable if you're doing it with a bunch of people too! I brought up the idea to Stephanie and she seemed up for it. I hope it works out.
Staying overnight at the airport was so boring. I found a seat on the bottom level near the baggage claim area and stayed there for the remainder of the night and right now, as I type this until Kaydee's plane lands. We're taking the shuttle to Rexburg. Ugh, another long ride. At least I'll have company.
Sleeping here was hard to do. I can't sit in one place for very long because then, everything starts aching. So I think I got a total of two hours of sleep at the airport. And I feel pretty awake! And nothing went wrong! Hallelujah!
So turns out I have to pick up a box of returned things I bought for a specific someone. It would have been nice if he kept them, but he returned them. As in trying to erase any reminder of me? Well, what he gave me I accidently gave away to charity so I guess its fair? Oh well. A free comfy blanket for me! :D
Well, sadly I didn't really take any pictures of my airport "adventure". There really wasn't anything adventurous about it really. But I did snap these.
Then I took these before leaving JFK Airport in New York.
For my little sister--she put her brave face on. She knew where I was going and what I'm going to do. She knows I'll eventually come back again.I really love her. She even let me take her One Direction poster (which took a lot of last minute convincing to get her to let me bring it), but she surrendered.
I'm definitely excited about this semester. I'm taking pretty awesome classes too! (except for math, that subject is still gruesome). I brought a ton of pictures to put on my wall. Like a collage. And I brought my Jesus Christ portrait and my Manhattan Temple picture to hang up. And Adrian actually surprised me by giving me a collection of pictures of temples. Yay!
I've been communicating with my would be roommates for this semester. They seem pretty fun. I hope we all get along great--that would make the semester very enjoyable.
How could I forget to bring my Zumba DVD set? I didn't that's for sure. I can't wait to continue with my Zumba while in school and hopefully my roommates want to do it too eventually. It seriously is so much fun! More fun and enjoyable if you're doing it with a bunch of people too! I brought up the idea to Stephanie and she seemed up for it. I hope it works out.
Staying overnight at the airport was so boring. I found a seat on the bottom level near the baggage claim area and stayed there for the remainder of the night and right now, as I type this until Kaydee's plane lands. We're taking the shuttle to Rexburg. Ugh, another long ride. At least I'll have company.
Sleeping here was hard to do. I can't sit in one place for very long because then, everything starts aching. So I think I got a total of two hours of sleep at the airport. And I feel pretty awake! And nothing went wrong! Hallelujah!
So turns out I have to pick up a box of returned things I bought for a specific someone. It would have been nice if he kept them, but he returned them. As in trying to erase any reminder of me? Well, what he gave me I accidently gave away to charity so I guess its fair? Oh well. A free comfy blanket for me! :D
 |
| At the SLC airport. I would have made this portrait more fun, but try to be fun with 2 hours of sleep no matter how awake you feel. My hair's a mess. |
Then I took these before leaving JFK Airport in New York.
 | |
| Before going into security. My mom was like "take a picture girls!" So we did. | I miss her already. |
 | ||||||||
| Then my mom wanted to take one of us together. |
Tomorrow...I become a hobo
Today's Thursday and I'm freaking out. I fly out tomorrow to Salt Lake and spend the night at the airport. This is a first for me. Last time I flew with my mom and had a place to stay, but now I am on my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty pumped about doing something I've never done before, but I'm worried I'll die of boredom. Will I get robbed? Will something bad happen? But I'm definitely documenting this event--wouldn't miss it for the world, so pictures will be up Saturday morning (morning as in like EARLY morning)
We'll see ;)
I really hope security doesn't confiscate anything I'm bringing. I safety packed away potential items in my checked luggage. Like toothpaste, which was confiscated at the SLC airport on my flight in December. How in the world can toothpaste be dangerous?
I'm taking 17 credits this semester, and that includes math too (ew) Ever since I found out about the school awrading money to top GPA students--I have to step up my game and study my butt off this semester so that in the start of fall, I might have the award if I get to a 3.8 or 3.7 GPA and have some of my tuition paid for.
It's really going to be weird being in Rexburg without my favorite gringa, Liz.
But this semester, as I mentioned before, brings a waveful of new people.
So I gotta deal and come out of my comfort zone. \
Spring semester 12'---leeeeeesss go!
We'll see ;)
In terms of packing, I'm 98.5% done. I still need to pack my laptop, my chargers, my sneakers, and my crocs. (yes, I wear them...for comfort after a long day) :)
Hopefully this time around, my suitcase doesn't pass the 50 lbs limit. I really can't afford to pay extra, I'm a going-to-be-poor-pretty-soon college student. Turns out I accidentally paid like $1,068 instead of $800 like I planned to. So now I have like $500 to survive this semester. I literally almost cried when I saw how Iwent from having close to $2000 in the bank that I earned all by my self to a measly $500. It was a sad day.I really hope security doesn't confiscate anything I'm bringing. I safety packed away potential items in my checked luggage. Like toothpaste, which was confiscated at the SLC airport on my flight in December. How in the world can toothpaste be dangerous?
I'm taking 17 credits this semester, and that includes math too (ew) Ever since I found out about the school awrading money to top GPA students--I have to step up my game and study my butt off this semester so that in the start of fall, I might have the award if I get to a 3.8 or 3.7 GPA and have some of my tuition paid for.
It's really going to be weird being in Rexburg without my favorite gringa, Liz.
But this semester, as I mentioned before, brings a waveful of new people.
So I gotta deal and come out of my comfort zone. \
Spring semester 12'---leeeeeesss go!
Like...it's practically here (again!)
This long break has come...and gone. I remember the feeling of excitement I had coming home from fall semester. I still remember the feeling I had during my journey to Rexburg. I remember how much fun I had with my friends, even if fun meant sitting on the couch and watching movies on netflix. Now, it's that time again. A new semester. A new semester with new roommates, new classes, new faces, new guys to gaze dreamily at (i joke, i joke), and new experiences. I really hope being able to become as close to my roommates as last semester because it made my first semester bearable. I enjoyed myself so much with my roommates that I forgot to feel homesick. See, that's the thing about me. I am SUCH a family loving person and ever since I could remember-- I've always had separation issues. I hope that feeling of homesickness doesn't present itself. Hopefully the feeling decides to stay clear.
These past few weeks I have had my own personal revelation. Not "pillar of light and an angel" type, but of thought I guess I can put it. One day, during fast and testimony meeting, it just hit me. What are you doing with your life? That really got me to think about every single bad decision I've made in my life. I thought about how those bad decisions were separating me from my path; my path of life that I wanted to follow and had set for myself. This path includes marrying an RM, temple marriage, kids- basically the whole package and Mormon cliche. I realized that my future family was SO MUCH more important to me than the horrible habits that I was forming. So to the repentance process I went and boy, it was hard! But so worth it in the end and /i feel like I am free from the chain that gripped me for so long.
I took to reading the book The Miracle Of Forgiveness and it is absolutely mind changing. Not only has my whole outlook on the atonement changed, but everything else. My way of making decisions, my way of seeing myself---EVERYTHING. Now I feel like I can finally, FINALLY have that total sense of peace and joy I've wanted for so long. I love the gospel!
"All sins but those excepted by the Lord---basically, the sin against the Holy Ghost, and murder---will be forgiven to those who totally, consistently, and continuously repent in a genuine and comprehensive transformation of life... This earth life is the time to repent. We cannot afford to take any chances of dying an enemy to God."
Back on task, spring semester.
So excited for my classes. I'm taking a 3 hour marriage class on Wednesday afternoons. This is the class I am looking forward to the most. NO, not to come out of that class getting married, but to figure out the reasons and learn more about what I can do to understand my family situation better.
Anywho, I need to get on packing soon or I'm going to end up forgetting something.
Which would suck.
These past few weeks I have had my own personal revelation. Not "pillar of light and an angel" type, but of thought I guess I can put it. One day, during fast and testimony meeting, it just hit me. What are you doing with your life? That really got me to think about every single bad decision I've made in my life. I thought about how those bad decisions were separating me from my path; my path of life that I wanted to follow and had set for myself. This path includes marrying an RM, temple marriage, kids- basically the whole package and Mormon cliche. I realized that my future family was SO MUCH more important to me than the horrible habits that I was forming. So to the repentance process I went and boy, it was hard! But so worth it in the end and /i feel like I am free from the chain that gripped me for so long.
I took to reading the book The Miracle Of Forgiveness and it is absolutely mind changing. Not only has my whole outlook on the atonement changed, but everything else. My way of making decisions, my way of seeing myself---EVERYTHING. Now I feel like I can finally, FINALLY have that total sense of peace and joy I've wanted for so long. I love the gospel!
"All sins but those excepted by the Lord---basically, the sin against the Holy Ghost, and murder---will be forgiven to those who totally, consistently, and continuously repent in a genuine and comprehensive transformation of life... This earth life is the time to repent. We cannot afford to take any chances of dying an enemy to God."
Back on task, spring semester.
So excited for my classes. I'm taking a 3 hour marriage class on Wednesday afternoons. This is the class I am looking forward to the most. NO, not to come out of that class getting married, but to figure out the reasons and learn more about what I can do to understand my family situation better.
Anywho, I need to get on packing soon or I'm going to end up forgetting something.
Which would suck.
I feel unstoppable in my knee high boots
First of all, I'd never even consider even wearing knee high boots like 2 years ago. I didn't want to be like everyone else. Plus, I had my shoe issue, but that can be fixed if you look hard enough :)
I wear them with black leggings, black pants, and my favorite super skinny jeans that make my legs look like whoa. Lately, I have such a great feeling in my heart. I feel so lightweight and happy; like a feather. When I walk down the street with my music playing in my ears I feel like I can really fly if I jumped up and tried.
I wore my favorite tight black plants, a silk black top, and my brown knee highs. And boy, whenever I walked I could feel eyes on me. This is silly. I FEEL it's silly behavior; thinking so fully of myself. Oh well.
ANYWAY, aside from my usual self centeredness; life is grand, just grand. I love my job, my little kiddies, and my new-found sense of adulthood, although not there yet. Almost there; at the adulthood part- I'm getting there.
So on Sunday, I go to YSA. And what would you know; an unexpected guest returns for spring break from college. This guy, oh boy. I grew up with him basically...sorta. I never really paid attention until I was 12 then boom! So instead of explaining every single detail about him; I'll recap. I never noticed it before, but he's really handsome. Not unbelievably Adam Levine, Adrian Brody, William Levy handsome, but enough to make you want to get a better look and just stare. He has one of the best looking jawlines I've ever seen. And most of all, his hands.
That's on thing I've noticed bout myself lately; noticing every attractive quality in a guy. And I've also noticed that teenage guys don't appeal to me anymore. They just seem childlike and stupid. Older guys are much more enticing. Like guys a couple years older than me. Like 22. THOSE types.
Also, I'm in a pickle. It seems that mostly every new missionary that comes to the ward- I get gogo eyes over. It's like...I don't even know. I get so happy just being in their presence. And I love grabbing their attention- his attention. And making them laugh. No, this happens with every missionary I encounter. It's stupid and useless because the chances of me seeing them ever again after they transfer and get off their missions are like 0. Why are missionaries so adorably good looking?
Only a couple more days till registration then going back to rexburg will seem more real.
Off to the mattress I go!
nighhhhhttt.
I wear them with black leggings, black pants, and my favorite super skinny jeans that make my legs look like whoa. Lately, I have such a great feeling in my heart. I feel so lightweight and happy; like a feather. When I walk down the street with my music playing in my ears I feel like I can really fly if I jumped up and tried.
I wore my favorite tight black plants, a silk black top, and my brown knee highs. And boy, whenever I walked I could feel eyes on me. This is silly. I FEEL it's silly behavior; thinking so fully of myself. Oh well.
ANYWAY, aside from my usual self centeredness; life is grand, just grand. I love my job, my little kiddies, and my new-found sense of adulthood, although not there yet. Almost there; at the adulthood part- I'm getting there.
So on Sunday, I go to YSA. And what would you know; an unexpected guest returns for spring break from college. This guy, oh boy. I grew up with him basically...sorta. I never really paid attention until I was 12 then boom! So instead of explaining every single detail about him; I'll recap. I never noticed it before, but he's really handsome. Not unbelievably Adam Levine, Adrian Brody, William Levy handsome, but enough to make you want to get a better look and just stare. He has one of the best looking jawlines I've ever seen. And most of all, his hands.
That's on thing I've noticed bout myself lately; noticing every attractive quality in a guy. And I've also noticed that teenage guys don't appeal to me anymore. They just seem childlike and stupid. Older guys are much more enticing. Like guys a couple years older than me. Like 22. THOSE types.
Also, I'm in a pickle. It seems that mostly every new missionary that comes to the ward- I get gogo eyes over. It's like...I don't even know. I get so happy just being in their presence. And I love grabbing their attention- his attention. And making them laugh. No, this happens with every missionary I encounter. It's stupid and useless because the chances of me seeing them ever again after they transfer and get off their missions are like 0. Why are missionaries so adorably good looking?
Only a couple more days till registration then going back to rexburg will seem more real.
Off to the mattress I go!
nighhhhhttt.
Fridays
I really do love Fridays. Do I go out?
Nope. Cause I much rather spend it with my family. And spend it listening to music and just thinking about things. And especially singing along to music. I love the feeling of knowing that I don't have to do anything for the next two days.
I put on Pandora, set it to my 90s music playlist, then it's like a rush of nostalgia to me. The beginning, the start of, my childhood and past blast through my speakers. With each new song from these times, the memories come along with them. Then there are the songs that have to do with no past, no present- just memories that they have attached with each of them. P!nk's "Raise Your Glass" with the memory of jamming out with Mike at the Harvest Ball after a breakup a few years back. K, bye.
lol
Nope. Cause I much rather spend it with my family. And spend it listening to music and just thinking about things. And especially singing along to music. I love the feeling of knowing that I don't have to do anything for the next two days.
I put on Pandora, set it to my 90s music playlist, then it's like a rush of nostalgia to me. The beginning, the start of, my childhood and past blast through my speakers. With each new song from these times, the memories come along with them. Then there are the songs that have to do with no past, no present- just memories that they have attached with each of them. P!nk's "Raise Your Glass" with the memory of jamming out with Mike at the Harvest Ball after a breakup a few years back. K, bye.
lol
sore toe
I can feel my toe throbbing and I have no idea why it's swollen.
And my mouth is sour, but I don't feel like getting up for a drink. Ugh.
Sometimes though, with reading all this lovey dovey Twilight- I miss those moments. That rush when he showed up at the door unannounced, that feel of being protected by someone other than some family member and especially the feeling of belonging to someone. Having someone care about you in a way other than like a friend, sister, ect.
They say live life to its fullest, but why can't that include a meaningful relationship too?
Being with someone doesn't mean giving up on the fun things in life. Like I've always said it's good to find a balance between those two things.
I really hate sounding like SUCH a broken record, but for me I really do love thinking about my future and who I'll end up with sealed in the temple. I admit it; I'm obsessed with anything that has to do with love. The wooing, the conquest, the occasional failure, and even the heartbreak. Because from each new relationship, no matter how it is, always ends up teaching me something about relationships in general and how I could improve myself and need to do differently the next time around. From all these relationships I've been in, from dating one of my brother's friends to a brazilian dude to dating someone from the other side of the country; I see myself way more experienced than when I first started dating.
I'm not going to succumb to the whole societal "be single and have fun!" idea. I mean, ok that's cool and I'm up for it, but while I'm "having fun", I also want to try to pick apart the different qualities of the different guys I'm with and jumble them together to someday find the guy who has every single quality, both big and small. From kind and hilariously funny to dedication and passion.
Basically, I just described what dating is.
Hahahahahaha
But really, my toe is like really throbbing. It's so annoying. Now how am I supposed to zumba tomorrow with a silly swollen toe most likely caused by zumba itself? Endure of course!
So glad it's Thursday tomorrow. Then Friday. Then one step closer to that smile. Like seriously, this guy's smile is like whoa. And he's so nice. And an awesome translation buddy.
Seriously, missionaries are awesome.
And my mouth is sour, but I don't feel like getting up for a drink. Ugh.
Sometimes though, with reading all this lovey dovey Twilight- I miss those moments. That rush when he showed up at the door unannounced, that feel of being protected by someone other than some family member and especially the feeling of belonging to someone. Having someone care about you in a way other than like a friend, sister, ect.
They say live life to its fullest, but why can't that include a meaningful relationship too?
Being with someone doesn't mean giving up on the fun things in life. Like I've always said it's good to find a balance between those two things.
I really hate sounding like SUCH a broken record, but for me I really do love thinking about my future and who I'll end up with sealed in the temple. I admit it; I'm obsessed with anything that has to do with love. The wooing, the conquest, the occasional failure, and even the heartbreak. Because from each new relationship, no matter how it is, always ends up teaching me something about relationships in general and how I could improve myself and need to do differently the next time around. From all these relationships I've been in, from dating one of my brother's friends to a brazilian dude to dating someone from the other side of the country; I see myself way more experienced than when I first started dating.
I'm not going to succumb to the whole societal "be single and have fun!" idea. I mean, ok that's cool and I'm up for it, but while I'm "having fun", I also want to try to pick apart the different qualities of the different guys I'm with and jumble them together to someday find the guy who has every single quality, both big and small. From kind and hilariously funny to dedication and passion.
Basically, I just described what dating is.
Hahahahahaha
But really, my toe is like really throbbing. It's so annoying. Now how am I supposed to zumba tomorrow with a silly swollen toe most likely caused by zumba itself? Endure of course!
So glad it's Thursday tomorrow. Then Friday. Then one step closer to that smile. Like seriously, this guy's smile is like whoa. And he's so nice. And an awesome translation buddy.
Seriously, missionaries are awesome.
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