Officially over it. Over feeling so out of control with my emotions. I'm letting these go all over the place and that makes me act so weird. Ugh, it's hard to explain. Weird as in I can't seem to have control over the way I feel about certain things, that's normal I know, those really unexpected moments-- but the thing is I'm not used to them at all and don't really know how to react. This probably makes no sense, I'm just thinking out loud. I wish Luna was here, she'd know what to say. I'm gonna have to write her, she's that only one that would understand. I can't go on with this constant nagging in my head that is telling me to figure this thing out. Ugh, I feel like such a girl sometimes. But like, there's a reason for all of this right? Looks like I gotta start to work on stopping all the thinking about this that goes on a daily basis because, well, it's starting to drive me insane really. Like I said, there's a reason for this, right? Now if I only knew or could figure out that reason. I'm a mere mortal though, I can't possibly figure this out on my own. In times like these, it's time to get off those feet of mine and kneel instead. Because in all reality, prayer really does help. It helps in feeling hopeful and comforted. Even though this is a silly thing to be praying over, and I feel like that all the time; asking for guidance in little things, it really makes a difference. The Lord hears you out, no matter the topic you come to him with. He's very willing to listen when you feel like you can't tell anyone else. Even though his response might not come right away, you build up that faith in him, that faith that he'll eventually not necessarily have the answer, but offer an opportunity to find out on your own.
Most nights, I don't know anymore.
To me, this song represents those moments where I'm all over the place with my emotions. Those nights where I stay up just thinking about everything. Those nights where I wonder where my life is going. Those nights where I just don't know and kill myself thinking about the unknown.
I should go, tutoring soon.
Despite the constant nuisance Sebastian is, it'll help me keep my head clear and stop that constant thinking I've had lately, even if it's for a little while.
On a brighter note,
Aw, I miss them. That concert was amazing. Possibly the best day of my life...so far. The blisters and sore feet were totally worth it.
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