I'm so bad at these things

It is officially July 4th, it's like 3 in the morning. Not tired at all. So might as well...

Anyway, a while ago, I think like in May or something, I started this 30 day blog challenge thingy. Totally been procrastinating on that. So, #13.

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.  

Dear Dad,
You're a jerk. Like really. You have no conscience or remorse about what steps and decisions you're taking in your life. A family that you choose to create is not some old toy that one throws away when you're bored. You have no idea how much of an influence you've been all these years; negative. Taking that parenting class this semester has made me realize why I am the way I am. Why I'm confused, why I sometimes have moments of sadness and total weakness, why I don't trust in others, why sometimes I don't even trust in myself. All this points back to you. Did you know that the father's involvement in a child's life is the most important in their emotional development? Yeah, you screwed mine up and that is why I have no idea about many things. Many girls look to their fathers as examples, as models, of what they want to find in a guy. And you are in no way a model of what I want in my future husband. I've had to figure those things out on my own, of qualities I want in a guy, from someone other than you, my dad. You were supposed to be the example. You were supposed to be my best friend. 
Remember when we would sing along to your favorite songs?
When you would call me your "reina"?
The times you made me laugh?
When we would share what happened during our day?
That random applebee's run we had during a blizzard and survived?
When you'd hug me real tight and make me feel the safest person in the world?
I remember, do you?
You decided to move on with someone else, decided to stop fighting to keep us all together. I'm sorry that you can't accept our beliefs, cause I understand that's basically why you started looking somewhere else. I've even tried to explain to you why I love the church so much. I even shared my testimony with you. In love, you accept everything about your other, even if you don't like it. You learn to live with it and keep on loving them. You gave up. I hope someday you'll remember what I've told you, what I've shared with you.
No matter what, you're still my dad. And there was a reason for it. You chose to me my dad. But why are you leaving? I've tried my whole life to make you proud of me, wasn't that enough? Right now, I really don't wanna have anything to do with you. You don't know how great the amount of damage you've done. I hope to meet and marry a great guy, a guy who can stick around when things get hard. A guy who will love me the way the Lord intends a man to love a woman.
I wish I had the courage in me to tell you all of this.
But you scare me and I'm afraid. After that one encounter that one morning and how much of a close call that was, I never want to feel like that again. I never want to fear for my own life. Or my family's.

Have a nice life and I hope you find your way and get better, even if that means that you're leaving my side.