You knew what you were getting yourself into

I just love those moments where I feel like what I say actually makes a difference in someone's life. Like with my mom, we had another long talk today. And we basically ended up playing a round of psychologist. And it comforts me hearing that my words mean so much to her. That she actually takes what I say to her to heart. She takes my advice.
Sometimes, I wonder where it all comes from, those words that come out of my mouth.

Life is so strange to me. It really is. It can be the happiest, it can be the crappiest, and it can even be a little bit of both. Right now I really don't know what I'm doing or why life is deciding to be mysterious and kill me with the suspense of what's going to happen next. But I chose this. I chose to come down here knowing that I would embark on such a weird and unknown journey. Although sometimes, I torture myself with thinking about the future. What it's going to bring. Whether or not I'm going to be happy about it or miserable. I lay awake sometimes replaying and replaying potential scenarios that could happen with absolutely no idea or certainty about them. And I know I should stop because it gives me false hope. But then again, you could also say it's faith. Faith that one day everything that I want to happen in the future will happen. That in the end, I will get what I always wanted out of life.Now I totally understand why it said that, why my patriarch said I was born with a very believing heart. Although, sometimes I doubt this believing heart. Because sometimes I believe too much or too hard and end up loosing. It has happened too many times. But that's the thing I love about the Gospel. It gives me that strength to keep on believing despite when things don't turn out as planned.

I feel so foolish for not remembering to bring my blessing to school with me. I remembered I forgot to pack it as I was unpacking at the start of the semester. It seriously gives me the greatest comfort. Because it promises me the greatest blessings. And it reassures me that what I constantly torture myself thinking about will happen eventually. Maybe not now, but eventually. That's the thing. I'm a pretty patient person, it's just that I'm so impatient about the important things.

Those songs that very rarely make you cry. 
Because they either carry painful memories, remind you of certain people, or reassure you that everything's going to be ok when you're unsure about everything. When you doubt yourself, when you are negative. It wakes you up and yells out at you, "you can do this, you got this" and gives you that extra push to keep on believing, to keep on being faithful, to hope with all your heart that you're going to be blessed with those things in life that you've always wanted. 


Like my mom always says, "Si sigues con la fe que tienes, si eres obediente, si haces lo bien--tu Padre Celestial te bendecira con todas las cosas que tu corazon desea"