OH, the other day I finally found my lost swimsuit. Turns out that I didn't unpack it from my suitcase I put in storage last semester. It is by far my favorite swimsuit ever, imagining summer at the pool without it is heartbreaking. BUT I FOUND IT! I secretly wanna try it on and just walk around in it because honestly, I love the way it looks on me, it fits perfectly in all the right places. Speaking of which, that's something I've learned lately- to love my body the way it is and love the way it was meant to be :)
At the start of puberty, I was like "WHY?" I've inherited so many things from my parents, some that I love and some that I've learned to love throughout the years. Like my crooked smile or my eyebrows, from my mom. Then there are those features that I've learned are a blessing rather than a curse. Those features that I've acquired mainly for being Hispanic. And when I look in the mirror, I smile. Because I'm the only me there is and because I was created by my Heavenly Father to look like this, a creation in his image. So when I look at myself it's like looking at a little piece of him because I was created in His image.
SO, my best friend comes home soon! Tiffany, we've been best friends since 6th grade.We met in math class, a math class we both decided ruined our ability to comprehend math. Now she's in training in Oklahoma. She's in the ROTC. I have the best time with her. We can talk about anything and I highly value her opinion on things. She's so honest; I love that about her. And she's so understanding and hilarious.
We can both look at each other and know what we're thinking about. We give each other looks when something funny happens and we automatically know what the deal is. And we have so many inside jokes and stories and so many memories together, ugh, I just love her so much! My life wouldn't be the same without her. She knows everything about me, the good and the bad. I know I can trust her with anything. What's seriously so depressing is the idea of moving away from her. We live literally like 5 minutes away from each other, we can easily walk to each other's houses. But since this whole divorce thing, my mom wants to move. Now that she's a single mother and our total income will be lower, we can't afford our casa anymore. So she's looking for an apartment to move into. I really don't care where we move as long as they accept my babies, I'd die if I ever had to give them up. I'd be forever depressed. But like, I won't be near my best friend anymore. Or my friends. I'll have to start over.
I'm good at adapting, so all will be fine. And besides, a fresh start away from somewhere where old memories remain is pretty sweet.
Bon Jovi was so hard to listen to for a while because that was me and an ex's band. He even had a song dedicated to me from them. That one. I can't help but think about him whenever I listen to that song. I remember this one time when we were walking around town, he just grabbed me out of nowhere and started singing that song to me. It was embarrassing at the time, but so sweet now that I think of it. I think back to all the times we had together, from laying on a bench together and just gazing up at the stars and talking about whatever to those times we had those incredible long hugs, never wanting to let go. This guy really loved me and it crushed me when I broke it off with him. I hate disappointing people. But it had to be done, he wanted to go down a road I couldn't follow. That seriously was one relationship that changed me as a person. It was hard letting go, everything that we went through, all those moments of sweetness and happiness, but eventually I did.
But enough of the past. It's now, and now, I can't help but be happy about my life and where it's headed. I'm excited for what the future holds. I feel as if after a long storm of struggles, I'm finally going to have a clear sky.
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